The principle of Occam’s razor suggests that ‘other things being equal, a simpler explanation is better than a more complex one’. I don’t want to buy into that philosophy. Take for example the mystifying ‘UFO Haiti’ Youtube viral hit. With over, 19 million views, it makes it the king of all E.T. earthly visits captured on celluloid, 8mm film or through an Iphone camera lens. At the time it was posted up back in 2007, many thought it was the real deal Holyfield. Others thought it was a viral vid for Battle: Los Angeles. Still others immediately dubbed it as a scam. Pointing out it’s inconsistencies. Two identical palm trees, unnatural light effects and the knock off Hollywood style CGI rendering. What a bunch of killjoys.
I like conspiracy theories. If nothing else for the alternate takes on history, the ‘what if’ fodder and the thought of peeling back the curtain for a peek at something worth debunking.
I am writing this from Colorado. This past Sunday night we flew into the Denver International Airport. Some have label the DIA as a ‘place of pure evil’. I like strolling through the belly of the beast. Looking for Masonic markers, murals that can serve as nightmare fuel and traces of plans setting up a future global genocide.
For this weeks Wizeguy I thought I would list my top three ‘conspiracy theories’ and the reasons on why I believe them.
1) The Apollo Hoax. I haven’t believed in this ever since I learned about it in Elementary school. As I got older, and even more cynical, I laugh at the idea that man has set foot on the moon. OR, set foot on the moon in 1969. In my crazy mind, it doesn’t add up. The photos, film footage, the tin foil craft matching my tin foil hat and Stanley Kubrick. Most likely, the Russians are still salty that they didn’t think of the gag first. American has such a ‘fuck yeah’ attitude that if we had landed on the Earths moon we would for sure have a McDonald’s and Starbucks up there. A Starbucks with a drive-thru. Russia is planning a moon landing by 2030. China by 2020. I say send Anderson Cooper up there, have him report LIVE from the Moon’s surface and I will finally be a believer. You did it before (Yeah, right) then do it again.
2) JFK assassination. Maybe it was the Oliver Stone movie that planted the seed in my head. The magic bullet theory, Oswald and his time traveling abilities, the grassy noll or war mongering Johnson. I have never read the Warren Commission report and I don’t have all the facts to indeed say it was or it wasn’t a cover up. In my opinion, something just doesn’t feel right. A gut impression. I did try to read 11/22/63 by Stephen King. I couldn’t renew it at the Library so I had to return it before I finished. The premise of this novel seemed more plausible then Oswald acting alone.
3) Roswell UFO incident. I think the film, Close Encounters Of The Third Kind is iconic. The depiction of ‘Aliens’ with the large heads, almond shaped eyes and anorexic bodies almost seem universal. Does this description stem from the Roswell crash? Have extra terrestrials visited our planet? Was Travis Walton abducted and anally probed by these beings? When I look into the nights sky, I want to believe that there is something, anything, anyone else out there. True or not, I wouldn’t think these ‘others’ follow certain tropes and/or idioms. If they are advanced, something tells me stealing cattle and sodomizing humans wouldn’t be at the top of their to do list. A tour of Area 51 would be BAWSE.
What conspiracies, folklore or X-files do you believe in and why?
-Dagobot