007: “Goldeneye 007” for N64

Beyond just the film, the N64 Goldeneye game provided hours and hours of violent, multiplayer fun. And because of that, we’re actually going to start with a game review led by Sith-bot, then go into our normal film review. Rule #1 of the game review– before you offer your opinion in the game review, first identify your favorite playable character and weapon in Goldeneye multiplayer.

Sith-Bot:  My favorite character for this game was Jaws, most likely because it was the one my brothers wanted to play as well, so it was always a lot of fun to fight over who got to be him, and then lord it over the others.  As far as favorite weapon, it’s absolutely the RC-P90; that thing could tear someone in half and had the biggest clip imaginable!  Although, I must say it was a ton of fun to activate the floating mine bug in the snow base/bunker and then rig the place to blow with a ton of remote mines!

I remember seeing trailers of GoldenEye for months before it came out and thinking it looked stupid.  I really can’t explain why it didn’t appeal to me, but from the videos I saw at the local Target or the articles I read in Nintendo Power, I had absolutely no desire to play this game.  Speaking of Target, one glorious day, I had just received my birthday money from my grandpa and while wandering around trying to figure out what to spend it on, I happened into the gaming section and saw that there was a demo of GoldenEye, so I figured what the hell I’ll give it a shot.  Well, an hour later, when my parents finally dragged me away from playing the Dam Level for about the millionth time, and I knew I had to have it.  Thankfully, it was the day the game came out, so no one knew anything about it and the shelves were fully stocked, so I was able to pick up what would become the hottest commodity in the gaming world for the next 6 months or so.  Needless to say, once everyone caught on to how awesome GoldenEye was and how impossible it was to buy, I briefly understood what it was like to be the most popular kid in high school.
GoldenEye took first person shooters really revolutionized how we played them; in fact, the mark it left on the gaming industry can still be felt to this day.  Certainly, there was Doom and Quake but unlike them, GoldenEye gave you goals you had to complete to finish your missions, nor did it require a $2000 gaming computer like most of the first person shooters that were coming out around then did.  Not only did you have to complete missions, but for most of the levels, the game forced you to play stealthily or risk being overtaken and cut down by the plethora of guards that would come running if they heard shots, an alarm, or the startled cry of a comrade.  It also really let you feel like you were James Bond, what with all the cool gadgets and toys you acquired and got to use throughout the game.  Even if it was only used in one or two levels as a gimmick, burning the lock off a trapdoor with your watch laser still made you feel like a badass!.  All of this with some of the best graphics the N64 had seen to date.

And of course, there was the multi-player; oh the glorious split screen 4 player deathmatch!  Aside from games like Mario Kart 64, this was the first time console gamers really got to enjoy this kind of multiplayer interaction, and it was what took a great game and made it legendary!  There were tons of different types of gameplay available that made sure everyone could play on an even level.  Perhaps you were awesome at normal or team match, but if you were playing Golden Gun (one shot kills from the Golden Gun, of which there was one) and you didn’t get to the gun first, then you had better have mad skills in order to keep from getting shot once before you could take out that player.  Did you want to play in a claustrophobic cave level filled in which your only weapons were proximity mines?  You could do that.  The options were near limitless and made sure that no two games ever played remotely the same, something that even masters of the genre (Halo, Call of Duty, Counter-Strike, etc) haven’t been able to boast, even to this day.  And of course, at the end of each match you were given an ‘award’ based on your play style, whether that was performing the most headshots, killing the most people, or having the highest suicide rate, you’d always be rated on something, and bragging rights based on your award were just as important as winning the match.  To this day, there has been no other game I have invested more time in or had more fun with.

What is really great about GoldenEye, though, is that the game still holds up.  Even though the graphics are obviously dated, the multiplayer and overall fun aspect of it makes it just as relevant and engaging today as it was 15 years ago.  Simply put, this is easily one of the greatest games ever made, and one hopefully everyone had the good luck to enjoy while they were growing up.  If not, and you have an N64 handy, grab a copy from a used game store or Amazon and check it out; it’s still better than a lot of the games that come out today!

Citizen-Bot: I was always Boris so I could yell “I am invincible!” or Oddjob, and I liked the straight up AK-47 or Deutsche D5, or the rocket launcher, unless, of course, I could get The Golden Gun. We had the same rules as in MarioKart in my apartment: whoever gets in last place has to hop out, winner gets to choose the level and the rules (though we almost always played in the Facility – and we had some epic Slappers Only battles). It could get intense. Especially if you won the “Most Cowardly” award but didn’t lose– then everyone was gunning for you, literally, in the next game. But I never graduated into other FPS’s beyond this. I had roommates who played Quake II and that was ok, but I never got into Halo or Call of Duty. So, Goldeneye remains pretty important in the pantheon of games for me. Also? Never use the Klobb. You’ll shoot 50 rounds into someone before they lose the tiniest bit of life. What a worthless gun.

Swank-mo-tron: I was always Oddjob or a random scientist and I loved the Moonraker Laser or the Cougar Magnum…  Unless, of course, I could my hands on The Golden Gun.

Shaz-Bot: I liked being Boris, because he, like I, was a bespectacled geek. I didn’t have the streak of betrayal in me, but with Boris as my avatar, I had no problems blowing up my friends with proximity mines. The one Holy Grail in GoldenEye for N64 that my friends and I knew about, but never got to experience (due to not having a Game Shark) was unlocking all of the alternate Bonds in the game. Granted, they were just multiplayer photos not meant to be accessible due to Rare only having the license for Brosnan’s likeness, but a boy could dream.

Arse-bot: I always enjoyed playing as the man himself, James Bond. However, if I felt like being a cheap dick, I’d play as Oddjob. My weapons of choice were generally the RC-P90 or the Cougar Magnum, and booby trapping high traffic areas with proximity mines.

This game was really my first foray into first person shooters, and it got me hooked. If I had never picked up an N64 controller to play this game, I may not have such an affinity for games like Battlefield and Halo as I do now.

The game was very straight forward, and far less involved than the FPSs of today, but I think that was part of the “magic” of this game. Kill or be killed. While it’s been years since I’ve revisited this game, playing hours of this in the basement with friends on the same tv will always be a fond memory of mine, and I doubt anyone would argue that this game started to define what modern FPSs on consoles would be.

Swank-Mo-Tron: I loved how you could set traps in the game and could actually play two on two and need to work in a team. I was disappointed with the multiplayer in the remake.

Citizen-Bot: The thing I was most disappointed by with the multiplayer in the remake was I no longer had 5 roommates who wanted to play Goldeneye. And my wife was just not interested, and the kids are still too young. And so when I tried to play online, of course I just got murdered by some 9 year old somewhere. Or some 35 year old somewhere, re-living his glory days. Either way, it just wasn’t the same as being in the same room as people. Sad. Just like you can’t go home again, somehow Goldeneye was just better on the console with those funny controllers.

For more on our review of Goldeneye the film, please read here, but I don’t think any of us feel bad about giving this game the full 4 martinis and a Golden Gun. . .if you can get it.

SLAPPERS ONLY!!!

“>httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmKxJeizYPU

 

A more balanced game, in the Facility.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENM6HoQIPHI