The Universal and Blumhouse release, Five Nights at Freddy’s, had an $80 million debut and is moving past the $100 million mark domestically in less than ten days. The second-weekend ticket sales were still decent for the $20 million-budgeted film, which landed simultaneously on the streaming service Peacock. The good news is, the film is something worth watching once out of curiosity. That’s about it.
It is what it is. A kids horror movie. I wouldn’t even say it’s worthy of being PG-13. Monster Squad, Ghostbusters, Gremlins and the movie Witches are more intense for the “Parents strongly caution” rating. Even Coraline contains sequences that are disturbing for someone of any age and it’s rated PG. Honestly, the R rated great value version of Five Nights, Willy’s Wonderland starring Nicolas Cage was a lot more fun to check out … especially with friends and drinks a la a B movie horror night.
In Willy’s Wonderland, Cage plays a mysterious gentleman called The Janitor, who’s forced to spend the night cleaning out the titular restaurant. In between getting handy with the disinfectant, the character drinks a lot of soda, plays a lot of pinball, and, oh yes, systematically demolishes one possessed animatronic after another—all without saying a word.
Nicolas Cage playing silent throughout the whole film caught me off guard and it was a blast to watch. He was pretty much the only thing I enjoyed through the 88 minute run time. Sidenote: his pinball dance to the synth-wave Willy song was amusing. Even without dialogue Cage created a character that pretty much answered a question I have had for many horror movies. What happens if the would be victim is really just a silent Michael Myers type that all the monsters and spooky forces really wish didn’t get trapped in their turf/territory with.
In FNAF film, the creatives should have just dropped the whole Mike and Abby storyline and gone with Nicolas Cage’s character, The Janitor. If anything it would’ve been more accurate (in terms of game lore.) It’s also a failsafe. If you have a bunch of inbred mutant wrong turn cannibal problems, send in the Janitor. If you got a video tape girl ghost or a house curse in Japan that needs cleaning, send in the Janitor. If Jamie Lee Curtis really isn’t in the mood for another Michael chapter, then send in the Janitor. If Nicolas Cage’s evil insanity manifests into physical form, then send in the Janitor.
Before Five Nights came out, Willy’s Wonderland was mostly forgettable. Now, with the success of Mr Fazbear on the silver screen it’s getting renewed attention and even more love. I mean, Willy’s Wonderland grossed $369,959 worldwide on a $5 million budget. So, low budget love. I wonder if there will be follow up articles/columns/think pieces popping up saying Willy’s is topping the streaming charts again? If there’s a chance for a sequel, or if Cage’s The Janitor would be in the FNAF sequel? That would be BAD. How bad could it be? Really bad. It could be really bad.