So, I was in New York City last week and went to my favorite video store ever: Kim’s on St. Marks. I was presented with a gigantic tower of Dark Knight DVDs as I walked in. Regular version, 2-Disc Edition, and the Blu-Ray. I lustfully snagged the Blu-Ray disc and then it hit me: “WTF? This isn’t supposed to come out until Dec 9th.”

And it was on sale.

My robo-boner lasted for multiple hours after I purchased it.

Here’s my review of everything:

Let me first say that TDK is hand’s down my favorite comic book movie and rivals for my Top 10 list of all time. When I put the Blu-Ray disc into my PS3, I wanted to see at least 30 hours of bonus material. I was super disappointed.

There are 4 major extras spread on 2 discs. Disc one has a series of “making of” shorts (about 1-4 minutes each). They range from “This is how we learned to shoot in IMAX” and “This is how we fucking blew up the Tumbler”. Some of them were interesting and mega-cool like the 4 minute piece showing how they blew up the hospital. Basically, these shorts are nothing but special effects coverage. We don’t see any directing, any actors, any “behind the scenes” stuff. Which is exactly what I wanted. So, balls to that.

The other 3 extras on disc two are called “Batman Tech”, “Batman Unmasked”, and “Gotham Tonight”. “Tech” is nothing but another special effect orgy showing all of Batman’s new toys and gadgets. Another “this is how and why we made this shit up”. “Gotham Tonight” is 6 uncut episodes of Gotham City’s News Program. It’s a nice extra, but I didn’t care about this since I considered it icing on an already stale cake. And then the most balls-out stupid extra is “Batman Unmasked” in which multiple psychologists and sociologists are interviewed about the “inner thoughts” and “dark side” of Batman and his villains. They literally sat there saying shit like, “You see, Bruce Wayne is good, but Batman is his dark side. See?” And then they talk about the Joker, “This man is crazy. He’s like Ted Bundy (shows picture of Ted Bundy). He’s unpredictable n stuff.” This goes on forever and ever.

And that’s it.

WHERE THE FUCK IS HEATH LEDGER GETTING INTO HIS MAKEUP? WHERE IS CHRIS NOLAN DIRECTING? WHERE IS CHRISTIAN BALE REHEARSING WITH LEDGER?

I wanted a more “video diary” type thing in the extras. But to no avail.

Well, I guess there’s the movie itself. Which, I might add, looks and sounds like a digital orgasm in Blu-Ray.

The End.