RIO 2 (4 out of 10) – Directed by Carlos Saldanha, starring Anne Hathaway, Jesse Eisenberg, will.i.am, Jemaine Clement, Tracy Morgan, George Lopez, Leslie Mann, Rodrigo Santoro, Jamie Foxx, Andy Garcia, Rita Moreno, Bruno Mars, Kristin Chenoweth; rated G; in general release; running time: 101 minutes.
Yes, there’s another cash grab sequel out there for all you parents trying to con you into stashing your brats in a movie theater for two hours while you go check out Captain America 2. My advice? Take them to see Captain America 2 instead. (Ok, maybe not– Cap 2 is a little too violent and heady for most kids. It’s just Rio 2 has that many problems. Actual advice: go see “Muppets Most Wanted,” or “The Lego Movie” if it’s still in a theater near you.)
This film is insufferably boring except for a few bright spots, mostly provided by the musical numbers and the amazing choreography that is beautifully animated. For example, who doesn’t want to see Jermain Clement “singing” I Will Survive? As good as this is, however, Clement was better utilized in “Muppets Most Wanted.” Singer Bruno Mars also provides a good performance here, as does Kristin Chenowith. I just wish there were a better movie to showcase their talents in.
The “plot” revolves around Blue and Jewel, who we left at the end of the original “Rio” in love and settling down. Now with three (annoying and generic) kids, they go on a search to find Jewel’s family living in the Amazon rainforest. Her family distrusts outsiders, and especially humans. As a former pet, Blue (Jesse Eisenberg), has to deal with life in the jungle and is pressured into giving up his reliance on human technology by Jewel’s father (Andy Garcia).
Oh, I see. It’s a fish out of water story AND a disapproving parents story. Kids love that stuff, right?
And then there are also evil loggers who, for some reason, seem intent on finding Fern Gully, errr. . . the valley where the last tribe of Blue Macaws live. And they must be stopped! Because, see, we have to save the rainforest, too.
I’m not someone who dislikes a message in children’s entertainment. But this was so poorly delivered it makes it almost unforgivable. Especially when a good message can be properly delivered, it makes me sad that the best Hollywood can do to tell kids to care about the environment is tripe like this.
But the most unforgivable problem with this film is it is boring. Going into a kids’ film, I often expect to be bored. But then I also expect my kids and their friends to tell me how much they loved it, regardless. I had to restrain my 5 year old son who kept telling me how bored he was and he wanted to go home. He literally asked me if he could play Angry Birds Rio on my phone instead of watching more of the movie.
We both perked up in the final act of the film, which includes a couple of cool action sequences: a soccer game and a fight against the evil loggers. It almost made up for the preceding 80 minutes of tedium. Almost.
There are also a couple of funny jokes and gags sprinkled throughout. Blink and you’ll miss them, though. For example, I’m still laughing thinking about the Capoeira fighting turtles. But also because I’m thinking about the episode of Bob’s Burgers with Capoeira. Maybe because Capoeira is inherently funny.
My advice to parents: if your kids really loved the original, try to get them to wait until this comes out on video. If you can’t avoid that and you have to take them to the theaters, this is mostly harmless and far from the worst children’s movie I’ve seen in a while (thanks for setting the bar so low, “The Nut Job”!)
Just don’t get roped into seeing it yourself.
4 out of 10