HELL-o all you FABULOUS, SHINY robots! The Flaming-Gynoid here, back from Broadway tour. Oh, for those of you who didn’t know, I sometimes fill in for Ms. Liza when she’s down, out, or just plain beat to a pulp. Any-who, I have missed all you Clanks, Cranks, Droids, Tron’s and Voids…and I hope you missed me too.
Moving right along…there’s this fantastic movie, just released on Blu-ray after a DVD re-re-release in 2004 (first in 99, re-released 2002), which I saw AGES AGO . Let me define “AGES”: I originally watched it on VHS. Can you all say VID-EO TAPE, you daft cows! (Side note; I’m shocked at the number of people who have never seen, nor heard of this film when asked about it.) SERIOUSLY!! Like me, you all have those BIG, soft, pink, veiny, wet organs that I call BRAINS. Its helps us think and make choices and for those Robots who use it, must know that this film is probably one of the greatest Sci-fi /Action films of the 80’s….Ok, probably not the greatest, BUT it’s certainly worth watching at least one time in your life. Don’t give me that look BITCH! I said it, and I meant it.
The film is “Running Man”. It’s based on an early story by Stephen King (writing as “Richard Bachman“). Set in Los Angeles, the year is 2017, & the country has pretty much gone to hell. Can’t wait…7 more years for us kiddies!! The government controls everything with an iron fist, including all television programming. The “Must See TV” of the future, is the reality game show The Running Man, produced in conjunction with the Department of Justice, where a group of colorful, diverse, murderous hunters, called “Stalkers” pursues convicted criminals across a 400 city block radius, all the while being filmed and televised. It’s a game comparable to the Roman Gladiators at the Coliseum. If a criminal can complete the course, he’ll have a full pardon and a place of his own in Hawaii… but I’m sure we have all heard that famous saying, “the bad guy never wins”…or do they?
(Now let us take a moment and think about this…here’s a film made long before the reality crap on television was produced, aired and has now taken over our screens. I loathe and despise reality TV, but wouldn’t we all enjoy watching this sort of reality TV? Or better yet, be able to play as a Stalker and destroy the scum of the earth in an all out obstacle course, rather than air a bunch of Wanna-be Flaming Gynoids on that filthy, trashy show called American “Loser”, well except for Adam…I do feel a warm sensory overload when I see him gyrate on stage. Mmm-Hmm…..GYRATE ADAM!!)
The err…eh….loveable? Richard Dawson (you remember..he’s that famous old pervert who loved to molest his female contestants on Family Feud) plays the role of Damon Killian, the slimy, ruthless game show host of “T.R.M”, who will stop at nothing to get high ratings. It’s not much of a stretch for Dawson, seeing as how he’s really just playing himself, Dirty old pig!…but he does a good job of entertaining throughout the film.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, the star, the hero, the sexy one in the show…although I do think Jesse Ventura (a Stalker aka Captain Freedom) could give Arnie a run for his money when it comes to being sexy…Such big muscles you have Mr. Ventura, *giggling to myself*…he was one fine HUNK with a lot of JUNK, back in the day. HELL-O!!
Oh yes, so our leading man, Ben Richards (Arnie) is falsely accused of some horrible massacre of innocent civilians, when in reality he tried to prevent it from ever happening, and has now found himself a contestant on T.R.M. He’s joined by his two military buddies, William Laughlin (Yaphet Kotto) and Harold Weiss (Marvin J. McIntyre) who were promised that they would not have to compete if Richards would go on in their place…Richards accepts, but SURPRISE!!! Tricked you! You still have to compete…Oh, you silly boys. When will you learn? Why do you fall for such lame promises? You never change…Now, more than 20 years later and you’re still falling for it. Hahahaha…*sigh*
It’s pretty easy to guess what direction this film takes next, and therefore I’m not going to go any further into the storyline, but I will say this…The film is a product of its time/generation. Its sets/design/costumes/special effects are cheesy, and the script is what you would expect a movie like this to be. The film is filled with corny, funny puns, mostly delivered by Arnie, which you can’t help but roll your eyes at, while sporting a huge grimacing grin. There’s a fair share of blood, guts, and glory, and let’s not forget a tag-a-long, bombshell beauty named Amber Mendez(Maria Conchita Alonso) who worked for the game show network, but found herself on the other side when she questioned the truth behind Ben Richards past. So throw all these things together in a giant, stainless steel mixing bowl from Pottery Barn, mix it up, throw it in the oven @375 temp. and what you get is a delicious helping of entertainment. Sheer entertainment in fact. Or at least for the truly devoted Arnie fans. I give Running Man, 8 out of 10 Ventura Biceps!
The Blu-ray is cheap if you buy @ Amazon.com. Only $11.99!! Its single disc and nothing fancy as far as extras…just clean, crisp imagery.