REVIEW: The Green Hornet

Zombie-tron and I got a chance to go see the new Green Hornet picture, written by and starring Seth Rogen. It tells the tale of a spoiled socialite’s rise to power as a costumed vigilante with his genius of a sidekick, Kato.

I’ll let Zombie-tron go first:

Zombie-Tron: After close to 2 hours of blasting rock, exploding stuff and Seth Rogen trying to do karate. I walked out of a theatre wondering exactly what had just happened. The Green Hornet has Seth Rogen playing himself, or the awkward party animal who says awkward/funny stuff while trying to be serious and deep. Kato played by Jay Chou is a martial arts experts that doesn’t speak english well, he builds cars, punches people, and drives real fast.

I guess the tough part of the movie for me was that even with a pretty stellar cast I found myself checking my watch a few times, when the action heated up the brainless side of me was able to lock in and just watch stuff explode, when stuff wasn’t exploding the story was dragging me a long. I could almost hear Seth Rogen saying, “don’t worry, we’ll be blowing stuff up soon, just hold tight.”

I will say that I was impressed with the cast that seemed to erupt out of some of my favorite movies, into a campy super-hero film. The main villain, Chudnofsky is played by Christoph Waltz, or the “Jew Hunter” for fans of Inglorious Basterds. Edward Furlong from Terminator 2 makes an appearance as a meth lab owner. Tom Wilkinson plays Britt Reids father, Cameron Diaz plays the replacement secretary and comical love interest. But even putting this big of a cast together, parts of the Hornet lacked interest and left my mind wandering.

As a mindless hat tip to super hero and action movies I’d say this is a good watch, they didn’t set any records, or recreate any technology for the film, but it was still something you can turn on, switch your mind off, and watch stuff blow up. I’d give the movie a B-, or like 2 bigshinyrobots…. or a filet of fish or something.

Swank-mo-tron: There’s so much to love and so much to hate in this movie it’s bizarre, but it comes to a bizarre middle ground where I didn’t love it and I didn’t hate it. Let’s start with what’s to love:

Michel Gondry’s direction is flawless. The transitions in this film are incredible and the action sequences are amazing. I wasn’t sure if Gondry could pull off action, but now I’m not sure if I want anyone else to.   There’s a sequence, too, where the screen is dividing up as the word on the street is being put out that the Green Hornet needs to be killed that literally blew my mind.  Gondry is a deft director and I’d love to see him filming much more competent scripts.

The supporting cast in this film is fantastic. Christoph Waltz is fun to watch and makes a great villain, but Jay Chou steals the show as Kato. He’s fun to watch and is completely charming. And let us not forget Tom Wilkinson, who is always a great asset in a film.  And who could forget cameos by James Franco and Edward James Olmos?

The last thing I want to mention is the design of the film.  It looks great.  The Green Hornet’s Los Angeles was a cool place populated by really cool cars and characters.

As far as what there is to hate?  I think the list is a little bit longer, but at the root of it is really Seth Rogen.  I think he’s kind of funny, I really liked him in Zack and Miri Make a Porno and Knocked Up was pretty good despite being way too long.  Rogen wrote the script and starred in the film.  And instead of writing a kick-ass Green Hornet movie, he wrote a kick-ass Apatow comedy with a superhero in it.   This movie is about Seth Rogen being a slacker and deciding to kick ass as a superhero.  I’m not trying to hold on to the TV show or any preconceived notions of the character, but I just didn’t like this take at all.  Britt Reid is supposed to be related to the Lone Ranger and here he is this Animal House-level party animal.  Maybe it will play well with the kids but I found the self-obssessed nature of the character to be completely obnoxious and got tired of it after about 5 minutes.  I thought it was leading to somewhere that would change his character quickly to bring a gravitas to the movie, but it really didn’t.

And I think that right there (aside from Cameron Diaz) is the biggest problem of the film: there is a complete lack of gravitas to the character of The Green Hornet and his mission.

And I have to concur with Zombie-tron, I checked my watch a bunch.  Kato and Britt have a prolonged fight that was boring emotionally in the story and to watch in general and there were other low points in the movie that had me checking out frequently.

And did I mention how much I dislike Cameron Diaz in this movie?  I didn’t know she was in the film and the second she came on screen I literally said, “Oh, shit.  Why is she here?”

And another minor complaint, I missed the theme music throughout the film.  It’s the same problem I’ve had with the last couple of James Bond movies.  You have such iconic pieces of music to help set the tone of the character and you don’t use them until the ending credits?  It’s a mistake.

Actually, the more I write this review, the more ambivalent I am.  I enjoyed watching this movie, but so much of it didn’t make sense and it was at least 30 minutes too long.  Go see it if you want.

It’s the superhero equivalent of a stoner comedy with an excellent director at the helm of a train wreck of a script.