CARRIE (4 out of 10) – Starring Chloe Grace Moretz, Julianne Moore, Gabriella Wilde, Portia Doubleday and Judy Greer; rated R (bloody violence, disturbing images, language and some sexual content); running time: 100 minutes.
Oscar-winning filmmaker Gus Van Sant is probably thankful that time has allowed many movie lovers to forget – or at least begin to forget — his almost hilariously wrong-headed, 1998 shot-for-shot remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 serial-killer classic “Psycho.”
It’s likely he’s also thankful for “Carrie,” an unconvincing, fright-free horror movie that’s so slavishly devoted to Brian DePalma’s 1976 horror classic in many ways that it could be considered a shot-for-shot remake of that original. And if anything, it’s every bit woeful and unintentionally hilarious (and possibly infuriating) as that earlier Van Sant dud.
Worse, it’s a shockingly shoddy work from another filmmaker, Kimberly Peirce, who, like Van Sant, should have known better. Peirce also helmed 1999’s Oscar-winning biographical drama “Boys Don’t Cry,” and has barely been seen or heard from since then. While this is bound to be a hit – nearly every horror movie that opens in October makes money – it’s not going to further Peirce’s reputation as a credible cinematic artist. Though you do have to admit, it does make “Boys Don‘t Cry” and her 2008 underrated Desert Storm drama “Stop-Loss” look considerably better by comparison.
To be fair, at least it’s not nearly as awful as either the would-be sequel, “The Rage: Carrie 2” (1999), and the 2002 television adaptation, two features that really trashed and missed the point of the original source material that inspired this grouping. (It was the first of Stephen King’s many best-selling novels, in case you’ve forgotten.)
A surprisingly miscast Chloe Grace Moretz (Hit-Girl, from the “Kiss-Ass” movies) stars as the title character, Carrie White. She’s a meek, picked-on teen who has some serious mother issues. And who can blame her? Carrie’s mom is Margaret White (Julianne Moore), a tyrannical Bible-thumper who constantly berates her daughter and, at one point, even locks her in a closet to force her to pray.
School isn’t any better for Carrie, who is bullied by her fellow students, including Chris Hargensen (Portia Doubleday), a teen that practically thrives on treating the hapless Carrie as cruelly as she can. However, one of Carrie’s tormentors, Sue Snell (Gabriella Wilde), takes pity on her and even convinces her own boyfriend (Ansel Elgort) to ask Carrie to the upcoming prom.
If you’ve read or seen the earlier versions, you know this isn’t going to end well for anyone involved. As it turns out, Carrie has telekinetic powers, which she eventually uses on not only her fellow students, but also on her mother.
It’s not completely clear whether Peirce and credited screenwriters Lawrence D. Cohen and Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa are really trying to “re-imagine” the De Palma film, as the studio claims, or just re-create it in a slightly bloodier fashion. Though there’s more gore and splatter involved, Peirce and her camera crews shoot the classic high school prom scene with the same lighting and staging.
Cohen and Aguirre-Sacasa’s script also lacks the psychologically weighty and moody context of the original film and even King’s novel, to a certain degree. They’re clearly aiming more for shocks and frights, but this film is sadly lacking in both departments.
And yes, it may seem a bit unfair to compare Moretz to Sissy Spacek, who originally played the title role. But she fails to bring the degree of shyness and sweetness that Oscar nominee Spacek brought to the part. Moretz is capable of better work than this, but she appears confused and uncommitted to this material. Not that her mostly no-name cast mates are any better.
In fact, only Moore seems to realize she’s in something so trashy. She takes her character in directions even actress Piper Laurie (the 1976 version) never could. As over-the-top and almost goofy as her co-leading turn is, it’s the best, most watchable thing that this movie has going for it.
Jerk-bot, aka Jeff Michael Vice, can also be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast, and can be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off.