From the man who brought us Alien Vs. Predator, shitty Resident Evil movies, and a forthcoming Castlevania project with nary a whip to be seen, Paul W.S. Anderson is probably my most loathed filmmaker of all time. Every time I read news about him and his projects, he’s doing things that should be no-brainers and actually turning them into horrible ideas.
Now, he’s set his sights on ruining The Three Musketeers for a generation. Though there is one bright spot in the pitch (and that’s Christopher Waltz playing the heavy, Cardinal Richelieu), everything else about it sounds terrible.
From the Heatvision Blog’s report on the story:
Paul W.S. Anderson is culling actors from rising stars to Oscar winners for his 3D version of the classic tale “The Three Musketeers.” The project is slated to begin shooting in September.
Logan Lerman, who recently played the title character in “Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief,” is in negotiations to play D’Artagnan
Why does it need to be 3D?! And Logan Lerman as D’Artagnan?!
Anderson’s real-life wife, Milla Jovovich, has been cast as Milady de Winter, a former love of Athos who is described as “17th century Bond girl.”
An offer is out to Orlando Bloom to play nemesis the Duke of Buckingham.
What?! A “17th Century Bond Girl”?! That doesn’t even make sense. And Orlando Bloom?! How is that guy still getting work?!
But here comes the next, worst part:
Anderson is going for a contemporary feel with his movie.
What is the point of a bad-ass period piece with a “contemporary feel”?
Everything about this sounds like bad news. And with our luck, it’ll make a whole bunch of money off of a whole bunch of people who don’t know better and Anderson will keep getting work. Hey, Paul W.S. Anderson, why don’t you leave all the directing to Paul Anderson’s with Thomas as their middle name!
The good news, though, is that there is a competing Three Musketeers project set up at Warners with Doug Liman attached to direct. My guess is that it will be a whole lot better than this.
Ugh.