MOVIE REVIEW: Holiday Movie Roundup

This time of year, googleplexes all around the country are all crammed with audiences taking in the latest filmic fare from Hollywood. This year’s offerings include some existing blockbusters, such as Frozen, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, as well as a half-dozen or so new releases that have been timed for holiday release.

That latter group includes a pair of comedies, one of them a remake of a beloved movie (and book) classic and the other a geriatric boxing tale, a cheeky crime story based on real-life events, an action-fantasy and the latest feature from one of modern cinema’s masters. But which of them are worth your hard-earned dollars? Big Shiny Robot’s Jerk-Bot, aka Jeff Michael Vice, offers these capsule reviews of some of the more high-profile new releases:

47 Ronin

47 RONIN (2 out of 10)  Starring Keanu Reeves, Tadanobu Asano and Rinko Kikuchi; rated PG-13 (intense sequences of violence and action, some disturbing images, and thematic elements); in general release, playing in either 2D or 3D; running time: 119 minutes.

A little humor can go a long ways toward saving a so-so movie. Now, a bad movie? That’s quite another thing entirely.

Take 47 Ronin, a would-be “fantasy epic” that turns the revered Japanese legends (allegedly based on real events) into a swords-and-sorcery tale. Keanu Reeves stars as a former slave who joins a group of master less warriors trying to avenge the ignominious death of their former master.

Reeves and his co-stars (including Thor: The Dark World’s Tadanobu Asano) play this surprisingly chintzy-looking nonsense entirely too straight-faced, and the story completely misses the whole point of the legends. And the supposed “special digital effects” only look more glaringly awful and unconvincing when seen in the 3D format. If you thought the trailers for the film looked bad, you haven’t seen nothing yet. Ugh.

Grudge Match

GRUDGE MATCH (4 out of 10) Starring Sylvester Stallone, Robert De Niro, Alan Arkin, Kevin Hart and Kim Basinger; rated PG-13 (sports action violence, sexual content and language); in general release; running time: 113 minutes.

THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY (5 out of 10) Co-written and directed by Ben Stiller; starring Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Adam Scott and Sean Penn; rated PG (some crude comments, language and action violence); in general release; running time: 114 minutes.

The perfect time for Grudge Match to be made and released would have been two or three decades ago, when Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro were at least closer to their respective physical prime and when it would have been at least somewhat believable and realistic to put the Raging Bull (De Niro) in the ring with the Italian Stallion (Stallone).

Stallone and De Niro play longtime pugilistic rivals whose last bout ended in a hotly debated draw, and who are coaxed into a decades-later, “deciding” rematch by an enterprising sports promoter (Kevin Hart) who uses their large egos against them.

Director Peter Segal (50 First Dates, Tommy Boy) is out of his comfort zone here. He clearly has no idea how to stage a big-screen boxing match, and, worse, he’s working with a script from two credited screenwriters who think that the idea of hilarity is Stallone spoofing moments from his Rocky moments or De Niro serving as the butt elderly bodily function humor and other off-color references that would have been rejected for inclusion in his recent Last Vegas fiasco.

As for the visually beautifully but ultimately disappointing Walter Mitty “re-imagining,” its worst defect is also its strongest asset: Ben Stiller.

He directed and stars as the title character, a magazine photographic archivist who escapes from his drab life through fantasies — including fantasizing about romancing a co-worker (Kristen Wiig) he’s too shy to approach in real life.

Behind the camera, Stiller and his camera crews capture beautiful, picture-postcard imagery that gives both the “real” and “fantasy” sequences a dreamy feel. Unfortunately, Stiller is no Jim Carrey, the actor he’s clearly emulating here. He lacks Carrey’s range, and he’s really out of his element in more dramatic moments. Also, the film wastes time with go-nowhere subplots and characters that further obscure the points the story is trying to make.

American Hustle 

AMERICAN HUSTLE (5 out of 10) Co-written and directed by David O. Russell; starring Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jeremy Renner and Jennifer Lawrence; rated R (pervasive language, some sexual content and brief violence); in general release; running time: 138 minutes.

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET (6.5 out of 10) Co-written and directed by Martin Scorsese; starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill and Matthew McConaghey; rated R (sequences of strong sexual content, graphic nudity, drug use and language throughout, and for some violence); in general release; running time: 179 minutes.

Director David O’Russell is at his best when he’s trying to be himself, not imitate someone else. With his latest, he tries so hard to the look and feel of a Martin Scorsese movie that he gets lost in those details and forgets how to tell a story.

Luckily, he has a good story to tell here: Helped out by most of an all-star cast from his most recent successes (The Fighter, Silver Linings Playbook), Russell reminds us about the ABSCAM scandals of ‘70s and ‘80s, as seen through the eyes of con artists (Christian Bale, Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence), politicians (Jeremy Renner) and the FBI (Bradley Cooper).

The material does offer Lawrence, Renner and Adams some opportunities to shine. The real sore thumb here is a paunchy Bale, who wears unconvincing balding hair appliances and offers up a truly bad (and hammy) Robert De Niro impression. Then there’s the film’s nearly disastrous final quarter or so, which proves to be this Hustle’s undoing.

As for Scorsese, at this point in his career, no one can tell him no, which is both a good and bad thing. His latest is a bloated, overlong, but still enjoyable crime comedy-drama that earns good will from the earnest performances of its talented cast.

Scorsese re-teams with Leonardo DiCaprio, who stars as Jordan Belfort, a morally sketchy New York stockbroker involved in one of the biggest stock fraud cases from the 1990s. DiCaprio’s clearly having a great time with this story and this character, and that enthusiasm transfers over to the top-notch supporting cast (which includes Matthew McConaughey, Kyle Chandler, Margot Robbie and Mob City’s Jon Bernthal).

However, co-star Jonah Hill looks and sound ridiculous with oversized dental appliances that alter his voice and speech patterns, and some of the film’s excesses (sexual and drug wise) are a bit excessive. Some judicious pruning would have turned this three-hour exercise in indulgences into a tighter, more cohesive and coherent film. Flaws aside, it’s still worth seeing if you’re a Scorsese and/or cinema nut.

Jeff Michael Vice, aka Jerk-bot, can be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), as well as be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).