Many avid movie-goers are playing “catch-up,” as they try to watch all of last year’s movies that received Academy Award nominations. However, that hasn’t stopped Hollywood from cramming already-crowded googleplexes all around the country with new filmic fare
Early 2014 offerings have included some would-be blockbusters that somehow didn’t make the cut for 2013, as well as late-arriving Oscar nominees that already saw release in major markets (in order to qualify for the post-season awards).
That former group includes a pair of action-thrillers — one of them allegedly based on “real events,” and the other a “re-booting” of a popular movie franchise. They are joined by a horror sequel and one from that latter group. But which of them are worth your hard-earned dollars? Big Shiny Robot’s Jerk-Bot, aka Jeff Michael Vice, offers these capsule reviews of some of the more high-profile new releases:
AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY (5 out of 10) Directed by John Wells; written by Tracy Letts, based on his stage play; starring Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Julianne Nicholson and Benedict Cumberbatch; rated R (language, including sexual references, and for drug material); in general release; running time: 126 minutes.
There’s acting. And then there’s act-ING!!! Showy performances might work on the stage, but they seem almost cartoonish on the big screen – or at the very least, as if the actors were trying to get awards nominations.
Enter Meryl Streep, the Grande Dame of modern movie acting. And occasional act-ING!!! There’s no arguing that she tries really hard in this drama, in which she stars as the matriarch of an estranged Oklahoma family that reunites under tragic circumstances (the death of her husband, played briefly by Sam Shepard). But by the time she’s done with all her scenery-chewing, there’s not much left for her co-stars.
Even her fellow Oscar nominee, Julia Roberts, tries to get in on the action with one over-the-top bit. And so do co-stars Juliette Lewis, Dermot Mulroney, Ewan McGregor (using his worst-ever movie accent) and Abigail Breslin, all of whom have done better, subtler work than this.
Worse, co-stars Julianne Nicholson and Benedict Cumberbatch are stuck in a ridiculous, soap-opera level subplot. Only character actors Margo Martindale and Chris Cooper emerge unscathed (they play a bickering married couple that deserves its own, better movie and story line).
JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT (4 out of 10) Directed by Kenneth Branagh; written by Adam Cozad and David Koepp, based on characters created by Tom Clancy; starring Chris Pine, Keira Knightley, Kevin Costner and Kenneth Branagh; rated PG-13 (sequences of violence and intense action, and brief strong language); in general release; running time: 105 minutes.
And here we were all thinking that actor Chris Pine had as an action star, thanks to his starring role in a pair of hit “Star Trek” movies … and that Kenneth Branagh had re-invented himself as an action director, thanks to “Marvel’s Thor” (2011).
Wrong again. The two have teamed up for “Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit,” a thriller based on the Tom Clancy character who’s been played by the likes of Alec Baldwin (in 1990’s “The Hunt for Red October”), Harrison Ford (in both 1992’s “Patriot Games” and 1994’s “Clear and Present Danger”) and, most recently, by Ben Affleck (in 2002 “The Sum of All Fears”).
Unfortunately, both men take real steps backward in their career progression with this ridiculous, decidedly un-thrilling clunker, which sees CIA agent Ryan trying to stop the Russians from crashing the American economy.
To be fair, they’re working with a bad premise and a messy script that was “re-purposed” (co-screenwriter Adam Cozad’s original story was supposed to star Eric Bana, and then Paramount forced the Ryan character and concept on him). This is grade-Z material, stuff that fails to inspire Pine (and co-stars Keira Knightley and Kevin Costner) and director/co-star Branagh to do much with it, aside from simply going through the motions.
LONE SURVIVOR (4 out of 10) Written and directed by Peter Berg, based on the book by Marcus Luttrell and Patrick Robinson; starring Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Emile Hirsch and Ben Foster; rated R (strong bloody war violence and pervasive language); in general release; running time: 121 minutes.
If you somehow thought the soul-crushingly heavy-handed onslaught of rah-rah, flag-waving, ultra-patriotic imagery in Steven Spielberg’s otherwise impressive, 1998 World War II drama “Saving Private Ryan” was too subtle for you, then “Lone Survivor” is the perfect movie for you.
Allegedly based on “real-life events,” filmmaker Peter Berg’s latest action-thriller follows a group of Navy SEALS (Mark Wahlberg, almost laughably earnest, Taylor Kitsch, Emile Hirsch and Ben Foster) sent to Afghanistan track down and kill a leader of the Taliban.
As witnessed by the film’s too-obvious title, not all of the SEALS are going to make it out of there alive. And after a disastrous encounter with goat herders, the four are left behind and left to their own devices.
With the right choice of director and screenwriter (NOT Berg, fresh off the “Battleship” disaster), this could have been a tense, enthralling tale of soldiers stranded behind enemy lines. However, Berg would rather cram jingoistic message down our throats – making this a soul mate to the 1968 John Wayne stinker “The Green Berets.”
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES (0 out of 10) Written and directed by Christopher Landon, based on characters and situations created by Oren Peli; starring Andrew Jacobs, Jorge Diaz and Gabrielle Walsh; rated R (pervasive language, some violence, graphic nudity and some drug use); in general release; running time: 84 minutes.
Sigh. Just stop already. That goes for Paramount Pictures, which keeps rushing out low-budgeted sequels/prequels to the original hit “Paranormal Activity” movie from 2008, as well as audiences who are so desperate for scares that they continue to see these increasingly-less-frightening, and more-frantically-annoying, “found-footage” films.
Just have someone come slam a few doors, unexpectedly, in your home and/or jump out and yell “boo!” at inopportune times. Same idea, but cheaper. And more creative.
Jeff Michael Vice, aka Jerk-bot, can be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), as well as be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).