Summer is here, and if you’re like me you like looking at women’s boobs… even if you’re married or whipped like you should be. Well now, you have to look no further than you local dvd store to see a great variety as the first Friday the 13th hexology is now released on deluxe edition DVD’s by Paramount.
Actually, I’m not so sure if the first one is out, here’s what they sent me; Friday 13th Part 2 and Part “3-D” on Blu-Ray, and then Parts 4-6 on deluxe DVD editions (The Final Chapter, A New Beginning and Jason Lives). There was no X-Man-like part 7, Jason takes Manhattan, the hell one (a.k.a. the “final friday”) or that god awful space one; but receivers can’t be choosers. I was shocked, SHOCKED that no one wanted to play a five day in a row drinking game with me and these babies, but whatevs, their loss.
I gotta say, I haven’t see a 3-D movie in a while and that was probably my favorite one as it comes with stylish custom-made Jason hockey mask glasses. Not only that, but the biggest douche-bag in this movie, Shelly, was on a NBC contest show in 2007 making the actor über douche man. Hahaha, I keed, I keed. The 4th, or the “Final Chapter” probably has the best cast with the likes of silver-screen legends as Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover.
The picture on all of these, as you can probably guess, is great. They even left some scratches and b-movie trademark goodness even though they are all remastered in HD now, but that doesn’t really mean much because of the horrendous way it was shot, but that’s what is good about these flicks and why you watch ’em, am I right? Right?
Tell you the truth… I don’t even like these movies. In fact… I don’t even know why people like them besides the gore and breasts and…. eh, never mind, I remembered why I like these. Now, if you’re like me again, the only way to watch these and enjoy them is with buds (unless they’re being punk-bitches like mine) of all sexes (pending the women you’re hanging with are the ones you want to get sauced up for a make-out session during or afterwards, if not, what are good heterosexual-male friends for, if not that?). Coming out of my long weird parenthesis thing I did, you know the second thing you need is, of course, a plethora of alcoholic beverages.
Here’s some stand-by rules for any Friday the 13th drinking game that many go by (and some that only I, Pencilbot dare go by. Take the Pencilbot challenge): [DISCLAIMER: BIG SHINY ROBOT! AND Pencilbot CAN’T BE BLAMED FOR THINGS YOU DO.]
1 half-can chug per horny guy or chick that can’t get laid (to be fair, this moment usually only happens once per movie, but by all means, be creative!)
1 drink per “Crystal Lake” being shown or said. (sometimes you’ll just have to opt for “Lake” instead to get things going)
1 drink per beer drink or pot smoked (for an added bonus, do a sip for every cough or person who waves pot smoke away)
1 drink per scream heard (“Oh my God!” counts as 3 to 5 drinks depending on the loudness, discuss with friends before doing this one)
1 drink per pair of boobs seen (or each boob seen to get faced faster)
1 long drink per “chi chi chi chi, haw haw haw” heard (Jason’s war cry)
1 chug can or bottle per first death (this to me, gets everything off on the right foot, many people just do ‘a drink’… pfft! wussies!)
1 drink per death of non-main characters
1 long drink per death of main characters (they’ll usually be 20-somethings, just fyi)
1 chug every time Jason “dies”
1 drink per every time Jason isn’t really dead.
Now at this point, you should be able to be declared “legally dead”, but if you really want to go the extra mile, I throw in this one.
1 drink per person calling another person BY THEIR NAME. (this also works with ‘Jason’, this one will sometimes make you cry as you lift your drink impending, but it’s well worth the laughs. Especially when you assign names, but when you assign names, you have to chug a can when your person assigned gets macheted, it’s only fair.)
Enjoy and have a good time!
(Click the link to check out the Friday the 13th movies on Amazon.)