It’s no surprise that the Minecraft video game has been such a resounding, worldwide success. With the ability to quite literally create anything, its millions of fans have spent at least a billion hours in this world doing everything from building houses and tools to painstakingly recreating such famous locales as Hogwarts Castle from the Harry Potter films. Do you want to create nuclear power plants for your world? Do it! Would you like to recreate the original Doom from 1993 and play it in your game? Have at it! When I say that the only limit is where your imagination takes you, it’s not hyperbole. With all this power at their fingertips, how did the creators of A Minecraft Movie take such a vibrant and living universe and turn it into something so dull and awful that I only finished watching it because I had to?
Life has recently been hard for Henry (Sebastian Hansen) and his sister Natalie (Emma Meyers). With the death of their mother, the two have been forced to move to a podunk town in rural Idaho that doesn’t suit either of them. Longing for an escape, Henry runs into Garrett (Jason Momoa), a washed-up video game prodigy and discovers a mystical key that opens a gate that sucks the two of them, Natalie, and their friend Dawn (Danielle Brooks) into the mysterious Overworld – a place where anything you want to build is possible. As they get used to this new place, they are greeted by Steve (Jack Black), one of the original inhabitants who has escaped from the Underworld where the wicked Malgosha (Rachel House) is plotting to capture the key and use it to take over this playful universe and bend it all to her evil will.
Doesn’t that sound fun? I mean, it’s not the most original story or idea in the world, but with as many films, books, and TV shows that have covered this exact same territory, you would think that could be inspiration for this grand adventure. Well, it’s not. From the moment we get Jack Black’s exposition dump at the beginning to his song in the grand finale, it’s an absolute slog.
It tries to be funny, but it’s not. It tries to be creepy at times, and it falls flat. It tries to give us a message about believing in yourself and the power of family, and you just don’t care. It perfectly portrays the world of the video game (something I am more than happy to give it credit for), but while it’s incredibly pretty to behold, and there are tons of characters and cute animals living there, it still manages to feel cold and lifeless.
And none of this is helped by the cringeworthy people running around in it. Henry, Natalie, and Dawn are fine if forgettable, but the same cannot be said for Steve and Garrett. The dialogue that spews forth from them is supposed to be funny, but if there are any jokes there, you certainly won’t be able to tell. Momoa as Garrett is especially grating; his forced “cool guy” persona quickly wears thin making every scene he’s in exhausting. It’s fine to play a caricature, but this gets to the point where their very voices start to sound like nails on a chalkboard. Oh, and it has horrible songs sung by Jack Black too.
With so much content to mine from (pun intended), this could and should have been something fans and the uninitiated would love. Instead, aside from the gorgeous world, it has nothing redeemable. Everyone involved in this project should be banned from making future films, but due to the popularity of the IP, it will probably make more than enough money to warrant a sequel. And if that ends up the case, I will fully lose what little hope I have in humanity, and I will have no choice but to walk into the sea.