“MARVEL APES is the sensational simian mini-series of the season! It’s four issues of furry fury and feces-flingin’ fun! It’s all your favorite Marvel characters—as you’ve never seen them before! If you only buy one mini-series next October about intelligent, super-powered apes and monkeys – it must be MARVEL APES!”

“In some ways, Marvel Apes is a sprawling epic like Lord of the Rings, and the Gibbon is our Frodo— one small person dwarfed by the overwhelming forces that stand between him and his goal.”

-Karl Kesel, writer, Marvel Apes

I warned you all this was coming, so don’t act shocked when this appears as an “Are You Interested” in your hold at your local comic shop. I was hoping that maybe Marvel would realize just how not awesome this idea is and bail out at the last minute, but looks like they are pretty much invested in this idea and are moving forward with it.

Marvel Apes is a four issue limited-series in which Gibbon visits an alternate “Marvel Apes” universe, where all our favorite superheroes are apes. I would like to take a moment to reiterate how this idea came about: Some jackass yelled out the idea “Hey, you’ve done Marvel Zombies! Why not Marvel Apes?!” at a convention a few years ago and apparently the idea struck such a cord with Ol’ Joe that he’s making it a reality… Because, you know, it’s the next logical step after Marvel Zombies…

Maybe there is someone out there who really liked Planet of the Apes and really likes Marvel comics and this is their wet dream coming to fruition, but for the rest of you out there, I suspect you’ll do the sane thing and pass on this really lame attempt at something “new” and “refreshing”. I’m sure this will be over and done with soon enough and we will get more of what we really want in regards to an alternate-universe-mini-series, Marvel Zombies!

I love you Marvel, I really do, but c’mon…