Ultimates 3: Limp on Ultimatum

Itll take more than big ol boobies and magic ponys to float this boat.

It'll take more than big ol' boobies and magic pony's to float this boat.

Was it the hype, the drastically different art style, the sporadic release schedule? Or was Ultimates 3 simply a bland an convoluted story that was crushed under the weight of our impossible expectations? I’m not sure, but I’m sorry to say that developing Ultron into a full fledged villain was maybe the only highlight that I can recall at the moment. I have to say that the wind has been taken out of my sails as we “March on Ultimatum” – or rather, shuffle, mosey, shamble, or at best – stride on Ultimatum. Seriously, did I miss something or was the payoff really just Magneto getting really mad and Dr. Doom stealing a sinister photo-op?

Am I alone in this sentiment? Because as i look back through the last decade of Ultimate Marvel goodness and often greatness, I see events far more epic and exhilarating story arcs that could have and maybe should have functioned as the universe wide turning point that Ultimatum is intended to be. Ultimate Galactus and Ultimates 2 come to mind first and maybe the zombie stuff in Ultimate Fantastic 4 – If you haven’t read them yet, you are missing out on some super-hero gold – Perfect 10’s those ones. Ultimates 3 on the other hand, I’ll gratiously round it up to a 5.

Seriously lets take some inventory here examining only The Ultimates 1,2&3:

Captain America:

Volumes 1&2 – Single handedly disarms a nuclear missile – Kicks the Hulk’s ass after dropping a tank on him – Impales Nazi alien on the tip of a fighter jet – Kicks Hank Pym’s ass while 60 feet tall – Drops a couple dozen Shield agents in a cemetery after being shot with about 100 tranquilizer darts – “DO YOU THINK THIS LETTER ON MY HEAD STANDS FOR FRANCE!?” – Saves the world – twice.

Volume 3 – Plays dress up with T’Challa

Hulk:

Volumes 1&2 – Attempts murdering Freddie Prince Jr. – Drinks a truck full of beer – Destroys an armada of alien spaceships with his bare hands – Beats Nazi alien to a pulp, eats him and shits him out – gets blown up by an nuclear bomb – Steals a pair of pants from a fat man – Kills Abomination.

Volume 3 – (Cricket noises…)

Thor:

Volumes 1&2 – Battles entire Ultimates team – Destroys alien armada with a hammer – goes crazy – Summons an Asgardian army into battle – kills his brother – saves the world – drinks lots of beer.

Volume 3 – Bangs Valkerie.

You see where I’m going here, sure punches were thrown, people died stuff happened (sort of) but good God did Ultimates 3 ever come up short. I can only hope that Ultimatum provides a decent segue for Mark Millar to pick up the pieces next year and bring some order back to this here town.

Anyway – that’s just one bot’s opinion, what did you all think of Ultimates 3?