THURSDAY THROWBACK TOY REVIEW: Code Red from Techno Spawn

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Code Red: from Techno Spawn
Series 15
Scale: 6inches, 7 ½ when erected
Released: October 1999
Spawn.com

“It’s survival of the fittest taken to the extreme. Spawn series 15 hatches a superior breed in the animal kingdom with its robotic blend of artillery and camouflage”. -spawn.com

“It’s the most detailed piece of shit for under 15 dollars. Its robot like features and burgundy-armor make for an easy target for any poacher, but be warned its packin heat… missile heat”! -Mexicus Prime

This “Ultra-Action Figure” is very misleading. The box states it’s a “Savage hybrid of animal flesh and machinery” but its “flesh” is made up of plastic and paint. Total fucking rip-off! The “machinery” is also made of plastic and doesn’t function at all. Why would McFarlane Toys package this gorgeous astronaut into such a lie!

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When I purchased this, I wanted a full-functional mini-ape that I could send to the moon to ultimately blow-it up (No homo), now I’m stuck with a fucking collectible named “Code Red”? From now on, his name will be Codered…sounds sexual huh.

When you first look at Codered you notice extremely detailed machine-like cables throughout his entire body. I mean “her” body. Codered is now female. The coloring/paint work is beautifully done. Her armor, plates, and cables, have a battle-damaged feel to them. For example, her left shoulder has some paint scraped off and bits of black are worked in to show a withered look.

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The question you’re probably asking yourselves is “Why would I want a Queen Latifah action figure from the future”? I’ll tell you why. The female gorilla tends to mature with 12 years (earlier in captivity). Their life spans are between 30-50 years! Most of us will be dead in that time, but Codered will live on and so will your collectibles! So, unless you are going to support the movie “Just Wright”, please support McFarlane’s Code Red figure from 1999. Either way you’ll help save silver and black-back gorillas for years to come.

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