The Special Glowy Illuminating Die of Gamers’ Fantasies

Gather round, ye Dungeons & Dragons nerds.  Ew!  Wait, not so close.  Go over there.  In the corner.  Ignore the Febreze being sprayed at you.  There.  MUCH better.

Now, does this little item from ThinkGeek get you all hot and bothered? 

Seriously?  REALLY?  Get used to your virgin lifestyle, then.  You, however, are the target audience for this particular multi-sided die.  TWENTY multi-sided die.  It flashes red when you roll a 20, which is apparently called a “crit” in gamer nerd parlance.  I personally would just call it “you need a life,” but that’s just me. 

Apparently, this “crit” thing is a pretty major deal, so if you’re fond of spending your Friday evenings gathered around a table in a lowly lit room with a bunch of overweight and underwashed guys you see regularly on New Comic Book day at the local shop, then you will LOVE this contraption.   Just in time for the holidays! 

Maybe you can buy one for Grandma’s stocking.  I’m sure she’s always wanted to slay a gold-scaled dragon with the Laser Sword of Hwaeil in the Dungeon of Dacue hidden beneath the Castle of Wssbn.  Could be the newest and hippest thing to hit the nursing home community. 

No?  Well, it was merely a suggestion.  It’s not like you have a girlfriend to buy for.  The only action you’re getting is the to-the-death battle between you and the most powerful wizard in a hidden forest encircled by a ring of fire. 

Happy Holidays! 

Nerd.