After an unforeseen delay, Secret Origins (insert day here) is back! To make up for it, today I decided to tackle the origin of a team rather than an individual hero. What better team to profile than the Justice League? Over the years, there have been many incarnations of the League, and many tales of how they got together. The one I highlight today is no longer in continuity, except that it kind of is. Explanation: this is a retelling of the original JLA’s first origin. Originally, Wonder Woman was a founding member of the JLA, but this particular telling of the origin was published post-crisis (which if you aren’t familiar with the term, trust me, isn’t worth getting into now). Post-Crisis, Wonder Woman didn’t become a hero until after the Justice League formed, so it was decided that Black Canary fit her role quite nicely, so she was used instead. Ok, now that I’ve thoroughly bored you, let’s get on with: The Secret Origin of the Justice League of America!

Our story begins in space, on the planet Appellax. It seems their leader, the Kalar, has been murdered. You would think this would be bad and you are right, but possibly not for the reason you’re thinking. Apellaxian law states that whoever takes the life of the Kalar becomes the next Kalar. The problem is, seven Apellaxian citizens claim to have done the deed. Since this is comics, the only way to figure out who should be crowned Kalar in this case is “Trial by combat!” The last time this happened, a good portion of the Appellaxian population was destroyed, so they’ve picked a backwater planet to fight on. You’ve probably guessed that it’s Earth, because no one picks poor Venus. After getting a quick briefing on earth and its inhabitants, one of the combatants asks a rather prudent question.

Not as absurd as that facial hair, buddy.

We follow the invaders to Earth in their spaceships which not only look like giant meteors, but also house random “battle forms” for the combatants which will allow the aliens to convert earth-beings to their cause as we’ll shortly see as we cut to J’onn J’onzz, Manhunter from Mars! He’s kvetching about how he can’t reveal himself in public because the earthlings would freak out, because not all aliens can look as svelte as Superman. As he’s moping while invisible, he notices the city is full of stone statues. This is obviously odd, but when they start to move he’s really wondering what’s up. All of a sudden, he encounters the first Apellaxian, whose battle form is a giant rock monster! It seems he is turning the people into living statues as his own private army. J’onn tries his best to hit the thing, but it’s pretty ineffective. He tries a mind probe, and boy does that backfire…

And this is why I always carry an oily rag. Just in case J'onn goes rogue.

J’onn is weakened by the fire, and is about ready to throw in the towel, but then he’s hit with a moment of heroism, and tries to ignore the pain and just flies at full speed through the granite giant. Smashing him to bits. Unfortunately for him, the effort taken to do this drops his invisibility and he’s able to be seen by his adoring public for the first time. The reaction is certainly not what was expected, which proves that moping just makes the moper miserable.

Yeah! Martians are supposed to have exposed brains!

Anyway, there are more important things to be done. When J’onn probed the alien, he found there were more, so he flies off to get to another before it “hatches” We’ll catch up with him later, for now we cut to Aquaman! Aquaman is swimming, as he is wont to do when he notices a bunch of mercurial bits floating in the water. Before he can figure out what’s up, he gets shot by a ray and well, he doesn’t fare too well.

Aquaman, King of the Seven Seas (and the obvious)

In the state he’s in, there isn’t much Aquaman can do (kinda like when he’s in human form). He does have the gumption to try, though. He can’t really control his body, but he tries to ride the currents to attack the blob. The blob is pretty clever though, it just forms a hole in the middle of its body and Aqua-blob just passes through. The blob is now heading toward Atlantis, obviously upsetting the King of the Seas. As luck would have it, there is a whirlpool in the distance. Aquaman figures that the blob may not be from Earth and therefore not know how destructive a whirlpool can be. All he has to do is use his power to command fish to lure the blob into the path of the ‘pool. Possibly due to the fact that he’s not currently human, or maybe in a rare case of telepathic performance anxiety, the fish aren’t listening to Aquaman’s commands. Driven to the point of abject frustration, we’re given just about the quintessential Aquaman panel.

I wonder if Enzyte comes in fish food flakes?

It finally works and Aquaman reverts to normal. He heads to the local center for Oceanographic studies (comics!) And find out that there are more of these beasties out, particular one in the Florida Everglades. He swims off and when he gets there, sees someone in a cape who may or may not need help. Once again, we’ll get back to this, but for now let’s look in on Black Canary! It turns out this is Canary’s first public appearance. She’s on a rooftop lamenting her lot in life, inheriting a super hero identity from her mother and not really digging the fishnets. Before long, she hears a scream for help, and springs into action! Continuing the trend, she encounters an aliens turning people into a different substance. This time it’s glass, which really does not seem like something that’d be too effective in battle, but we’ll go with it anyway. Being a novice, she’s pretty overwhelmed by the situation, so she’s a bit distracted. Too bad for her.

Good thing it didn't hit her jaw.

Undeterred, Canary makes a joke to herself about how she’ll never tap dance again. This actually gets a chuckle out of our alien baddie. This is where Black Canary shows she’s truly ready for the hero game. She uses her Canary Cry, but pitches it so perfectly, it focuses solely on the glass guy, shattering him to smithereens, but keeping her foot and everyone else intact. Much like the others, after the danger is passed, she’s informed of more of these alien guys, and she makes her way to Florida, only this time, we find out why we keep cutting to other heroes. It seems this particular meteor is having a bit of an effect on the collected future leaguers.

Lay down your roots, Canary!

So again we cut to another hero, this time it’s Green Lantern! He’s in space, returning to Earth when he comes across a meteor, which he decided to race for fun. When the meteor picks up speed suddenly, he knows something is up. He follows it to the wilds of Africa, where it hatches, and what emerges is a giant yellow bird. GL tries to come up with a nice alliterative expression, while coming up with a way to fight an enemy that his ring can’t directly affect.

I bet Hal did this all the time with ants as a child.

After Hal tries to burn the bird, it kind of gets ticked off, so it grabs the emerald crusader in its talons and GL starts to sport some stylish feathers of his own! Using his legendary confidence, the undeterred Lantern uses his ring to bring about a hailstorm that forces the bird to let him go. He then leads it into a waterfall, which he promptly freezes over. This apparently does the trick as he’s back to normal. Anyway, he also gets the info about the unhatched meteor in the Everglades, and you can probably guess what happens.

Hal needing help? Absurd!

We cut away one last time to check in on the Scarlet Speedster himself, The Flash. He happens to be in England and the Queen herself asks him to check out a flame creature in Croydon. Being the dutiful hero that he is, this is exactly what he does. Being a scientist, The Flash tries to blow out the fire with wind generated by him moving his arms like a giant fan. This only serves to increase the monster’s size. This of course grabs flamey’s attention and he starts to turn the Flash into a fire-guy too. The Flash has complete control over his molecular structure tho, and can just vibrate himself back to normal. The battle rages and Barry tries a multitude of things to put out the fire, including water and sand, but the thing is just too hot. Then he has a great idea.

Flash Fact, creep!

With the fire put out, the alien is put down. It’s pretty obvious by now what happens next. The Flash learns about the Everglades meteor and runs headlong into the fray, and what happens next is rather unexpected, but definitely iconic.

And now you get my root joke from earlier.

Now, with all the players in place, the meteor finally opens revealing a wooden alien menace! It explains that it deliberately delayed the hatching process and it seems to have worked out well for him. It also seems to have had the effect of converting all of the heroes instantly, since even Flash didn’t have time to free anyone, or himself for that matter. Knowing that most of his work is done for him, the creature leads his thralls to the final battle:

Yes, they're going to walk from Florida to Antarctica.

Aquaman is not too thrilled about making a trek that long, and comes up with a wacky, convoluted plan that is simultaneously awesome as all get out. He uses his own limited telepathic ability to block the creatures control just enough that he can knock himself into J’onn. The Martian Manhunter wonders what’s up and then realizes that he can uncover GL’s ring from under the “bark”. He does so, and Lantern plans on freeing everyone, but his will is weakened and only manages to free Black Canary’s head. This is fortuitous tho, because Canary, being raised by heroes knows that Flash can vibrate himself back to normal, he just needs a jumpstart. With her vocal cords freed, she canary crys at Barry who “wakes up” and fixes himself up. The alien plans on changing that, but the Flash knows it’s game time and is constantly counteracting with his own vibrations now. He knows he has to take this guy out fast, otherwise he’ll set the other converted heroes on him, so he takes the direct approach.

High speed splintery action!

One threat down, one to go. After the heroes give themselves some quick congratulations, they all head off to Antarctica to face the final creature, only to find that Superman has taken it out already. They’d all like to meet the Man of Steel, but he flies off, not even seeing the assemblage of heroes. The five exchange pleasantries and identities on the trip home, when Flash has a pretty great idea after Canary mentions strength in numbers. It’s decided they’ll form… a team! Canary suggests they model themselves after the old Justice Society. Green Lantern suggests the oh-so-original name Justice Society II. Flash has a different idea for a name:

"No? How about the X-Men?"

Cooler heads prevail, and the Justice League of America is born! They go on to add many, many members to their ranks over the years, they become an international organization, and Earth’s first line of defense. All from these humble beginnings. Like I said at the start, this may not be the “definitive” origin any more, but I think it’s the most entertaining and most fun to read. You get introduced to all the players in such a way that even if you aren’t familiar with them, you get to know their deal pretty quickly. I credit this story for helping to cement my lifelong devotion to the DC Universe. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do!

A bunch of ghosts do, apparently.