I don’t know about anyone reading this, but I’ve had a good amount of fun doing these funny-animal origins. I’ve hit a bit of a roadblock though, and that is finding proper origins for some of them! I really wanted to do Rocket Raccoon and especially Hoppy, the Marvel Bunny, but in the former case, the origin issue seems non-existent, and in the latter, the origin issue is so far out of my price range that I’ll never see it. Some of the characters I wanted to feature only have implied origins, like Squeak the Supremouse. What’s an unpaid blogger who’s committed to a theme to do? Then I recalled a character which many of you have probably never heard of. He never had his own title, he never really had a story that lasted more than a couple of panels, yet he is fondly remembered by many. Who is this strange turtle with powers and abilities far beyond those of other terrapins? Well, interestingly enough, he didn’t have an official origin until his career in comics was considered over! Tuck your cape inside your shell as I give you… The Secret Origin of Super-Turtle!

You may think they're fast friends, but Super-people are a bad influence.

Now, like I said, Super-Turtle’s origin doesn’t come into play for quite a while, so we have to do some guesswork. Being a turtle, he is long-lived, during his career, he has met Clark Kent at least twice, once as Superboy and once as Superman. It seems early on, that the two heroes have a bunch in common, similar powers, similar costumes, even the same disguise in their civilian identities. What really separates the two is how they go about their super-business.  Let me illustrate:

They underestimate him because he's cute. He probably bites like a mother, though.

As you can see here, Super-Turtle must have been operating for some years if the thugs know of Superman. This leads me to believe that for the first part of his career in crimefighting, S-T preferred to work from the sidelines, or in the shadows. I mean, he’d have to do a lot of explaining, being a talking turtle and all. But now that he has taken his act public, he is overshadowed by other super-people and feels he has to overcompensate. It’s a sad, sad tale (not really). His troubles would continue when he’d encounter local law enforcement, taking his fantastic abilities for granted…

That officer is lucky, I can see the vengeance in S-T's eyes.

As depressing as that scene is, you could imagine Super Turtle brushing it off. Why shouldn’t he help out his fellow defenders of justice? Sadly, it wasn’t just the police officers taking him for granted, though. As the legend of Super-Turtle grew, so did his reputation for being a doormat. Good old S-T took it in stride though. Slow and steady wins the race, after all. On the other hand, the poor treatment just wouldn’t stop. Why, before you knew it, even overpaid laborers were taking advantage of the Titanic Tortoise.

Straw, meet the camel's back.

Still after this shoddy treatment, Super-Turtle was undaunted. He knew he has to use his gift to aid the world, and no unkind acts were going to stop him. That’s when they started, The jibes, the snickers. S-T was becoming the laughing-stock of the hero trade. It was starting to get to him. Not even his armored shell could protect a broken heart. He was about to hang up his cape forever, when his super-hearing picked up a distress call. Of course he couldn’t ignore it, noble hero that he is. What happened next though, well, it flipped the way S-T would live his life right around…

Superman in a nutshell, not giving a rat's ass about anyone but himself.

This second meeting of the two heroes made something snap in our hero, Super-Turtle. After witnessing Superman rushing headlong into battle, without a care to his surroundings made S-T delve more into Superman’s history and found something startling! Superman was the kind of man who took no guff from anyone, did things his way, and darn the consequences! To you and me, these were examples of what has become known as “super-dickery”. However, to Super-Turtle, it was an inspiration. He was through being a doormat! He came to understand that his power made him a figure to be revered, not laughed at! Like Superman, he could save the world, but do it to his advantage.  It started simply, with a bit of vanity. Seen here is Super-Turtle’s first selfish act, but it’d be far from the last.

She's lucky he didn't heat-vision her on the spot for questioning him.

After that incident, it just got worse and worse. Super-Turtle started doing more and more uncouth things. He started playing pranks on his paramour, convincing people that he killed his own alter ego, he even took a page from Superman’s book, he started wearing a Pope hat and declaring himself king. He ego was getting too big for his shell.  It all came crashing down for Super-Turtle when he shirked his responsibilities for fame…

His hubris will be his undoing.

Super-Turtle’s picture was indeed in tomorrow’s paper, with the headline — “Super-Turtle: Murderer!” It’s a sad tale. You see, in the time it took S-T to return to the scene of the fire, the elderly woman had inhaled a lot of smoke. Super-Turtle did save her, but the amount of toxic fumes the woman was breathing took their toll shortly afterward. The animal kingdom was in shambles! Their hero, their most noble protector had failed them. As for Super-Turtle himself? It hit him the hardest. All he wanted to do was help people, but he let it all go to his head. In disgrace, he hung up his cape, ate a bunch of rotten fruit and got drunk. He spiraled in despair for many years. In time, people forgot about the one-heroic turtle. S-T never forgot though, after 20 years of wallowing in self-pity, a funny thing happened. The Crisis on Infinite Earths. While he wasn’t involved in that conflict, he was lucky enough to survive on the merged Earth that came out of it. The caveat? No one had ever even heard of Super-Turtle on this new Earth! He could make a go of it again, have a fresh start! This time, he would do things right. With this revised Earth came new enemies and responsibilities as well, thankfully this gave our hero focus, and before you know it, he was back to his old self!

That is Brainy-Yak, in case you were wondering.

So all’s well that ends well, right? Sure, Super-Turtle had a rocky road, but he eventually came out on top. This wouldn’t be a Secret Origins column without, you know, an origin though. So here I am happy to present to you, the actual, not made up and totally serious Origin of Super Turtle!

Wait a minute, that's Superman's origin! What a Gyp!

These stories originally appeared in a range of comics from the mid-to-late 1960’s There are too many to list! The actual origin comes from Silver Age 80-Page Giant July, 2000. The story weaving the pages together was my own idiocy, however.