Jupiter Ascending (4 out of 10) – Written and directed by the Wachowskis; Starring Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Eddie Redmayne and Sean Bean; Rated PG-13 for some violence, sequences of sci-fi action, some suggestive content and partial nudity; 127 minutes.
The Wachowskis have given us some of the best – and worst – sci-fi of the last decade or so. While they are definitely not the visionary filmmakers they were hailed when “The Matrix” was released, they still have a knack for creating beautiful, intriguing worlds and masterful works of imagination. Unfortunately, the universe they brought to life in “Jupiter Ascending” is as dull and lifeless as it is gorgeous to look at.
Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) is a woman without a home. Her mother gave birth to her while immigrating to the US, which means that Jupiter literally does not have a country to call her own and ekes out a living cleaning toilets and scrubbing bathtubs with the rest of her Russian family. Her life takes a turn for the bizarre when she is rescued by Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), a genetically-modified and intergalactic legionnaire who, along with his ex-military compatriot, Stinger (Sean Bean), inform her that she is actually the genetically reborn heir to earth – the matron of House Abrasax.
Unbeknownst to humans on earth, alien races have seeded planets with life and allowed them to evolve and grow until they reach critical mass. At this point, the planets are “harvested,” and billions of unlucky souls are reduced to a serum that is used by these races to stay perpetually young. The petulant and greedy offspring of Abrasax are not about to let some upstart rip their investment from their hands, which sets up a war with Jupiter, Caine and Stinger against some of the most powerful and dangerous people in the universe. Either she will take her rightful place as protector of earth, or her life and billions of others will be forfeit to their insatiable lust for money, power and youth.
“Jupiter Ascending” was suddenly pulled from its original release date last July for reported reshoots and script changes. The impact this had is quite obvious and glaring in the final product. It feels like the Wachowskis took all of their rewrites, mashed them together and forgot to have anyone check to make sure they weren’t recycling plot points. Jupiter is captured not once, but twice by the Abrasax heirs. Each time – along with her eventual rescue by Caine – plays out almost exactly the same. The fact that both scenes take place over the span of 30 minutes, turns what could have been fun and entertaining into something that is boring and anticlimactic.
The Wachowskis also have a nasty habit of introducing random characters just for plot’s sake, only to have them disappear, never to be seen again. All of this made me feel like I was watching two – or three – different movies that were unable to coalesce into one, coherent story.
The characters themselves are dull and fall prey to the similar tropes we’ve seen time and again. Mila Kunis as Princess Leia/Luke Skywalker manages to be both spunky and headstrong one moment but helpless the next while Channing Tatum, our Han Solo, looks pretty and broods. With the exception of Eddie Redmayne (who is a cringe-worthy Balem Abrasax), no one really gives a bad performance, but they seem like they can’t figure out who they are supposed to be playing any more than we are.
What is accomplished to great effect is a universe that has been painstakingly built from scratch. It’s obvious this was meant to be the first in a series of films that take place in this setting, and it’s sad that it won’t happen since there is so much potential. I would love to see more about the Abrasax family (especially its female members) and how they came to power, as well as the winged legionnaires that Caine and Stinger were a part of before they were cast out in disgrace. There is a rich backstory here that is ripe for mining; if only the Wachowskis had delved deeper into that mythos instead of the path they decided to take.
And of course, I would be remiss not to mention the nine minute long dogfight and chase that takes place in the alien ships through the streets and rivers of Chicago. It reportedly took over six months to film. It’s evident that the best of the effects, and a lion’s share of the funding, was invested in that scene. It’s just a shame it comes so early in the movie and makes everything else so lackluster in its wake.
I can really appreciate what “Jupiter Ascending” is trying to do and be, but I can’t forgive it for the many flaws that tear it apart. It had the potential to be something we had never seen before. Instead it’s a complete mess of a film that never comes close to fulfilling the promises it made in its trailers.