‘Doctor Who: Last Christmas’ Review

“Doctor Who” 2014 Special – Last Christmas (8 out of 10)  – Directed by Paul Wilmshurst; Written by Stephen Moffat; Starring: Peter Capaldi, Jenna Coleman; Special Guest: Nick Frost; Aired on BBC 12/25/14

 

This is a guest post from Rebecca “Sweetiebot” Frost is the dopest ladygeek in town. She enjoys flipping through comic books and button mashing her way through video games, though watching TV and reviewing it into oblivion is her strongest skill. She is a taurus and is therefore stubborn and enjoys shiny things. You can listen to her rabble on at www.hellosweetiepodcast.com.

I watched this episode a week after it aired. I was on vacation, “off the grid” and dying to know the answer to the one question I knew this special would answer: is Clara staying or leaving? I had this revelation ruined for me by simply scrolling through Facebook while waiting for gas to pump and seeing article headlines in blaring bold font, “Jenna Louise Coleman signs on for another season of Doctor Who.” Oh. Ok. The one, THE ONE spoiler I wanted to remain unspoilered, right there on my newsfeed, laughing at me. If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’ve seen the Christmas special/have Internet/don’t live under a rock, so let’s dive into this episode with the mystery and tension unjustly removed.

 

Christmas-y piano plays us into Clara’s house, and Clara is woken abruptly by crashing snow and voices outside. She wanders to the roof and finds Santa Claus, two elves, and a sleigh hanging out on her roof while a reindeer prances in the sky. It’s in this moment we are introduced to the best incarnation of Santa ever to grace the small screen. He’s snarky, unaware of tact, and accompanied by equally witty elves. He tries to shrug off the idea of him being Santa and Christmas when Clara comes up to see what all the ruckus is about (“Me? Santa? Ha! No no no.”). Clara admits she doesn’t believe in Santa but honestly, Clara, come on. You traveled with a man in a police box across time and space and YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN SANTA? Speaking of crazy ideas, the Doctor appears with the TARDIS and tells Clara to shut up and get inside.

 

Clara basically needs to pinch herself because I guess in the time she’s been alone, she’s forgotten about the Doctor and remembers the TARDIS as if it were a dream (I really hate using this description right now but I just have to). Might I mention that even though she is in her pajamas this whole episode, her makeup and eyebrow game is on point as usual?  The Doctor is vrry srs with her when he asks her if she believes in Santa Claus and she admits that in this moment, yes she does.

 

Cut to an frozen tundra and a woman is being sent into an infirmary to collect…something. Her crew talks her up and advise her not to think about the things or look at the things and wait what are the things? The girl, Shonna, that is being sent into the infirmary should be the next companion because she is hilarious. Apparently the things have telepathic powers and she dances through the infirmary to Christmas music which helps to distract from thinking about the things. Really, what are the things? Is Doctor Who using The Thing as the basis for this episode? I can only assume because of the arctic-ness of everything. Her mission is ruined with the Doctor and Clara show up uninvited. The things reveal themselves as icky aliens and attack. Trying to distract Clara from thinking of the things, he suggests Danny is cheating on her and she gets defensive, telling the Doctor that Danny is dead. The rest of the crew swings to the rescue but are outnumbered by icky gooey aliens. Until, SANTA! He blasts through a wall with an army of toys and suddenly this episode of Doctor Who turns into a cool B-movie. Santa sends the aliens back to bed.

 Facehuggers

 

 

Everyone revels in disbelief that Santa, Santa, has come to rescue them and the Claus Interrogation begins. He explains that there is an invasion of dream crabs (yeah…I know) and the human race in danger. The dream crab produces a telepathic field and alters perception, and therefore nothing is to be trusted. The crabs are slowly killing everyone. Or are they? He tries to get answers as to why there is even a science station at the North Pole, but only gets “it’s a long story” from everyone. The Doctor and Clara are left alone and have a weird Gift of the Magi moment, where Clara tells the Doctor she didn’t tell him Danny was dead so he could find Gallifrey but he didn’t find Gallifrey and only told Clara he did so she could live happily ever after with Danny. Awkward.

 

There is a group huddle in the control room that explains how they came across the dream crabs while the trapped one Santa brought breaks free of it’s glass case. One crew member mentions that the crabs are like the face huggers from Alien because of how they attach to their victim’s heads. The Doctor is offended by the idea that there is a horror movie about aliens called Alien. It’s adorable. He explains the crabs induce a dream state as the victim’s brain dissolve. He sends Clara to go get the trapped one by herself this can’t end well. She notices it’s broken free and INVESTIGATES? GIRL GET OUT OF THERE. She does math to protect her mind and her thoughts travel to Danny but no matter, she gets face hugged.

 

Clara wakes up in her room, morning light streaming through the curtains as Danny appears in the room dressed as Santa. She’s obviously confused, but steps seamlessly into her pretend life. A chalkboard in the hall warns her that she is dreaming and dying, but why should she care? She’s happily reunited with Danny and I’m already crying. Back at the station, the Doctor is trying to snap her out of it. He tries to find a way to kill it, but there is no way to kill it without killing her. Everyone is still not ok with Santa being a real thing.

 Danny Claus

 

 

In Clara’s dream world, she and Danny are relaxing after a nice day of Christmas-ing when there is a knock at the door. It’s the Doctor, of course, always ruining Clara’s relationship with Danny. He tells her none of this is real and it’s killing her. She wonders how he is there with her. Cut to reveal Joseph Gordon-Levitt he’s been face hugged too and they are doing Inception. The Doctor has to remind her that Danny died saving the world and Danny delivers this romantic line, “I didn’t die saving the world, I died saving Clara. The rest of you just got lucky.” Dream Danny is even aware they are in a dream and Clara is dying. He tells her, she knows, and he dream breaks up with her. And I. Am. Sobbing. He tells Clara she can miss him for five minutes a day but the rest of the day she has to go on living. They try to figure out how to wake up (die or fall, right?) while Clara tries to come to grips with losing Danny. Again. I want to stop right here and be a ball of sads happy feels.

 

After acknowledging they were in a dream the Doctor and Clara wake up, and the face huggers turn to ash. In the dream, the Doctor told Clara she has a headache, that it’s the alien sucking the life out of her. Back in the station she still has the headache. In fact, everyone has a headache. The Doctor asks everyone if they’ve seen “Inception,” and goes on to explain that Leonardo DiCaprio did this whole dream within a dream thing and that’s what the aliens are doing. Because seriously, why would Santa be real and come to the rescue? IT’S ANOTHER DREAM. Everyone is aware they’re dreaming now. Santa turns into a real dick and tells everyone to wake up, of course he’s not real. The brain is trying to protect itself with its own dreams, hoping to get everyone to wake up. Santa tries to put together a team building exercise (the Doctor refuses to be touchy feely or hold hands and I love him so much) and everyone wakes up! Icky aliens crumble to ashes! Doctor out. He’s ready to leave and Clara tries to get him to stay because Santa was on her roof, is he real then? Nope. Of course not. Another test, turns out we’re still dreaming. Come on, Doctor Who, don’t do this. Two dream layers are fine, any more and the trope gets tedious. Dream-dream crabs attack (the Doctor says it’s a nightmare and I cue up “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift because this is a nightmare dressed like a daydream). They ask, “who ya gonna call?” a lot in this episode, and I don’t know why I’m disappointed when Santa shows up instead of the Ghostbusters.

 

Santa takes them on a sleigh ride to wakefulness. Santa lets the Doctor take the reins on the sleigh and it’s very whimsical. I’m making it my cover photo on Facebook next year. HE EVEN SAYS “YIPPE AY YAY!” LIKE THIS IS AN EDITED VERSION OF DIE HARD. The crew members remember their lives and wake up in their real selves, one girl is in a wheelchair a la “Lost.” Clara, of course, refuses to wake up. The Doctor realizes she hasn’t woken up and goes to find her. He uses the sonic screwdriver to remove the dream crab and Clara wakes up. She’s old now, though. It’s been 62 years since she’s seen the Doctor and she was younger in the dreams. They share a Christmas evening together with funny hats and poppers and catching up. She’s lived a full life without the Doctor, it’s a very bittersweet moment until SANTA SHOWS UP AGAIN. THE DOCTOR IS STILL DREAMING. I FLIP THE TABLE I AM SO FURIOUS. He wakes up. Again. Goes to find Clara. Again. She wakes up young, and the Doctor invites her back to the TARDIS to travel with him. She agrees and they run out to the TARDIS. The camera pans down to a spinning top a tangerine and I guess Santa is real? 

Santa Sleigh Ride 

 

I usually don’t care much for the Christmas specials. This one, however, is my favorite of the bunch. Possibly because Capaldi has wiggled his way into my Favorite Doctor category. Nick Frost made an excellent Santa, a unique take on a timeless character. The dream within a dream within a dream trope grew tedious, but had I not known that Clara was staying, I would have been on the edge of my seat. Steven Moffat wrote an engrossing “will she won’t she” plot, but unfortunately having the big reveal spoiled for me took the mystery out of the episode. The best thing to come out of this special is the final farewell from Danny. Coleman’s on-screen mourning felt so real. Her lack of emotion and sudden burst of sadness during their final goodbye had my heart in pieces. It was a perfect form of closure, for both the loss of Danny and an introductory season for Capaldi.