“The November Man” (2 out of 10) – Directed by Roger Donaldson; Written by Michael Finch and Karl Gajdusek; Based on the book by Bill Granger; Starring Pierce Brosnan, Luke Bracey, Bill Smitrovich,Olga Kurylenko and Lazar Ristovski; Rated R for “strong violence including a sexual assault, language, sexuality/nudity and brief drug use.” Opens in wide release August 29, 108 minutes.
For many of us in the 90s, the name “Pierce Brosnan” was synonymous with “James Bond” and for good reason. Brosnan did a great job playing the suave and sophisticated ladies-man and ultimate spy, and even if the movies weren’t always that great, at least they were fun, and that’s all I was hoping for in “The November Man.” To say that I was disappointed would be an understatement.
Brosnan plays Peter Devereaux, a retired CIA agent who is living out his later years in peace in Switzerland when he is approached by his former boss (Bill Smitrovich) and brought back into the game to pull off one final opp – rescuing an informant with vital information deep in Moscow. Due to a past history with her, Devereaux reluctantly agrees, but the rescue goes horribly wrong when his former protégé, Mason (Luke Bracey) shows up and assassinates her. With her dying breath, she relays the information to Devereaux which sets off a cat-and-mouse chase between Devereaux and Mason in an attempt to find a young woman (Olga Kurylenko) who is the key to either taking down or controlling the next Russian Prime Minister.
One of the biggest problems with this film is that it’s so completely unoriginal, it’s almost breathtaking. It really felt like the writers went through the last 50 years of spy movies, lifted every cliché and plot point from them and just mashed it all together and called it a day. It’s so bad that anyone could probably write a pretty accurate synopsis of everything that will happen based just off the trailers alone. The only thing you won’t see coming is the way the movie tries to pull off a “Bad Boys” vibe in the third act (replete with slow-mo shots and people flying through the air whilst shooting guns) that makes absolutely no sense and completely destroys whatever tone the movie was trying to set up.
Brosnan fans need not worry, as he’s not really the problem here either. He plays his role perfectly fine in the face of what he’s been given, and while it sometimes gets hard to root for him (he’s pretty much a dick a lot of the time), he is one of the only high points in this film.
The same can not be said of his foil, Bracey, who either needs to go back and take Acting 101 or just quit the movie business all together and go into modeling or some other occupation that only requires him to look good with his shirt off.
In the end, the biggest sin “The November Man” commits is being utterly boring. Sure, spy movies should have quiet moments of intrigue and plot development, but even when their car chases and gun fights have the audience yawning, there is a definite problem. Also, when your biggest plot twists are telegraphed 30 minutes into the film, it’s almost insulting when the movie tries to feel clever later on when they are finally revealed.
Like I said, I was at least hoping for some mindless fun that would evoke fond memories of what Brosnan has done in the past, but it couldn’t even manage to pull that off. The only way I could recommend this movie is if it eventually gets the Rifftrax treatment so you can laugh at just how bad it really is. Otherwise, just forget this movie even exists. Don’t go to a matinee, dollar theatre or waste a buck at Redbox. Instead, break out your James Bond collection and watch “GoldenEye” or something. You’ll have a helluva better time with that.