NOAH (6 out of 10) – Directed by Darren Aronofsky; written by Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel; starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Ray Winstone and Anthony Hopkins; rated PG-13; in general release; running time: 138 minutes.
Use of contemporary-sounding dialogue? Check. Use of denim, corrugated metal and other fabrics and materials that probably didn’t exist at the rumored time period? Check. Inconsistent accents and use of dialects? Check. Eschewing computer-generated imagery at times in favor of stop-motion animation and “organic” special effects? Check. Over-the-top performances and violent imagery? Check.
These things and many others firmly establish that “Noah” is not your parents’ … or your grandparents’ … Biblical movie epic. Instead, it’s a film that is very much a Darren Aronofsky production.
Which is to say that, like earlier Aronofsky efforts (his 1998 debut, “Pi,” 2006’s “The Fountain” and 2010’s “Black Swan,” in particular), the “historical”/action-fantasy features some strong performances, an intriguing visual aesthetic, and the type of grotesqueries that have come to typify the one-time Sundance savant’s cinematic oeuvre.
Keeping all that in mind, you can kind of see why so many people were (and still are) up in arms about the movie. It’s a cross between such earlier, bloated Hollywood “epics” as “The Ten Commandments” (1956) and “The Bible: In the Beginning” (1966), all the swords-and-sandals action-thrillers that have followed in the wake of 2000’s “Gladiator,” the Ray Harryhausen-produced “Sinbad” movie adventures and even recent cautionary environmental thrillers (like them, this film is not even trying to be slightly subtle about its “Green-ist,” conservationist messages).
And yet, it does all those things with a sly, sneaky smirk. Almost to a degree that it becomes insufferable. Yet it’s watchable and somewhat enjoyable, even as it defies your best efforts to either love or loathe it fully.
Russell Crowe stars as the title character, who, in this version of the story, receives visions about a world-ending environmental disaster, a deluge and flood that will be brought on by God to wipe the face of the Earth of its greedy, brutish human population.
So Noah gathers the members of his family – his faith healer wife Naameh (Jennifer Connelly), sons Shem (Douglas Booth), Ham (Logan Lerman) and Japheth (Leo McHugh Carroll), and Ila (Emma Watson), a young woman Noah saved and “adopted” earlier – to build a giant wooden “ark” in which the many beasts can wait out/survive the deadly storm.
It’s a daunting task, but luckily Noah and his clan receive help from the “Watchers,” a race of stone-encrusted beings that actually turn out to be a group of “Fallen Angels.” While these “Watchers” have turned their back on most of the Earth’s population, they have decided to aid Noah to save the “innocent” animals.
Not everyone is thrilled to see Noah’s efforts, though. Despotic Tubal-cain (Ray Winstone) wants to seize the ark for himself and for his followers, and they may have the sheer numbers to overrun Noah and his “Watchers” allies.
Clearly Aronofsky and co-screenwriter Ari Handel (who collaborated with him on “Black Swan”) have taken “liberties” with the original Bible stories. However, they do try to reconcile some of the more unbelievable, contrived story elements, as well as add interesting character shadings – while trying to make their Save-the-Earth messages perfectly clear.
And the use of stop-motion animation effects for the “Watchers,” while a bit cheesy, doesn’t look as ridiculous as the sometimes-chintzy digital ones done for the animals.
Still, a lot of this movie rides on the performances, and Aronofsky was smart to re-team Crowe and Connelly (who were paired in Ron Howard’s incredibly overrated, Oscar-winning adaptation of “A Beautiful Mind,” as well as the already-forgotten “Winter’s Tale”) and young actors Watson and Lerman (2012’s underrated “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”).
And as good as Crowe and Connelly are (he’s especially compelling, even as he becomes more crazed and ruthless), it’s the latter duo who really add some needed emotional dynamics to the story. Her Ila is heart breaking as she mourns her inability to conceive, while his love-crazed Ham is perhaps the most sympathetic/relatable of the bunch.
Of course, there’s also a very welcome Anthony Hopkins, who steals scenes as Methuselah, Noah’s half-crazy, ancient grandfather. (And no, you’re not crazy, that is Nick Nolte as the voice of Samyaza, Noah’s closest “Watcher” ally.
Jeff Michael Vice can also be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), and can be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).