This is pretty nearly universal: little kids love dinosaurs. So, it should be a no-brainer to make a movie about some plucky young dinosaurs on an adventure-filled journey, even though we’ve seen that movie done a half dozen or so times already with various degrees of success.
So this year’s would-be babysitter for while you’re doing your last minute mall shopping, Walking With Dinosaurs in 3D, should be pretty good, right? Well, if you’re going to stash a young boy age 4-10 in a theater, he’ll love it. But if you, as an adult, have to sit through this with him? Your reaction is likely to range from slight annoyance to full-on-migraine, depending on your tolerance for predictable schmaltz and bad scripting.
Based on the computer-generated “documentary” style series of the same name narrated by Avery Brooks for the Discovery Channel (or by Kenneth Branaugh when it showed on the BBC) this should’ve been a surefire hit. CG dinosaurs in 3D to tell a somewhat scientifically accurate story? Sounds great.
And then the film actually opens, and all those expectations are dashed. Instead of computer generated Cretaceous landscapes we get. . . a live action sequence with Karl Urban and a couple of kids? Yes. It seems he’s a paleontologist and may have found something — a tooth of a gorgosaurus — that might lead him to a full skeleon or more fossils. But one of the kids is unimpressed.
Enter an annoying bird named Alex, voiced by John Lequizamo, who proceeds to tell the jaded youth a story about his ancestor bird and a young pachyrhinosaurus named (of course) Patchi, voiced by Justin Long. Patchi is the son of the leader of the herd has an older brother named Scowler and a romantic interest named Juniper. Young runt Patchi is trying to learn his place in the world and fighting to survive while being bullied by his older, bigger brother. And he faces some danger at an early age, leaving him with a special scar. And then the herd has to migrate for the winter, facing dangers like predators and the elements. Adventure ensues.
The mad-libs stlye story is as generic as it is predictable, which isn’t to say it’s totally bad. After all, they are at some level trying to discuss the normal migration patters of late Cretacous dinosaurs. There’s only so much that can happen. And this is supposed to be a kids movie, not The Godfather Part II. Regardless, if you’ve seen The Land Before Time or Disney’s Dinosaur, you can paint by numbers the plot.
What stands out here is the quality of the animation. This is a fantastically beautiful film that, unfortunately, the kids this movie is designed to appeal to won’t fully appreciate. If the Oscar were only for quality of animation, this gives Frozen, Monsters’ University, and all other animated films this year a run for their money.
But it suffers from one of the worst scripts for a childrens’ animated movie in a long, long time. Yes there are poo jokes. There are ridiculous, groan-inducing puns that the target audience won’t understand and the rest of us won’t enjoy.
The characters are annoying. And because the dialogue is done as voice over (the dinosaurs’ voices don’t sync up with any lip movement) I can’t help feeling this film would’ve worked better with David Attenborough style animal documentary narration rather than the dinosaurs talking to one another. Yes, bring back the Avery Brooks. Or the Kenneth Branaugh. And eliminate the awful, awful dialogue.
The movie also fails when it tries to ventue into other various film-esque techniques rather than playing to its strengths as a faux-documentary. As mentioned earlier, the “story in a story” conceit with the live action Karl Urban family is unnecessary and annoying. So is the film’s chosen soundtrack. Rather than just a typical film score, the movie chooses to use a pop soundtrack in some places. And at one point they inexplicably use an instrumental version of Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk.” To appeal to the grandparents who accidentally took their grandkids to see this? Sure it sounds like good music for dinosaurs to march to.
The final verdict: this film is beautiful and would have been excellent if it removed the dialogue and soundtrack. If your kids love dinosaurs, feel free to plunk them in a theater by themselves. But anyone over the age of 9 probably ought not apply. Considering the other incredible, kid-friendly fare out there (Frozen, Saving Mr. Banks), all but the most dinosaur-obsessed kiddos should enjoy far superior entertainment elsewhere.
Here’s hoping when it comes to Blu-ray they let you strip out the dialogue and replace it with documentary narration. At least at home you could turn the sound down and just watch. It would be much more enjoyable that way.