THE COUNSELOR (4 out of 10) – Starring Michael Fassbender, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz and Brad Pitt; rated R (graphic violence, some grisly images, strong sexual content and language); in general release; running time: 111 minutes.
There’s a perverse pleasure in watching misbegotten, mega-budgeted films like this summer’s “The Lone Ranger” and the previous year’s “Battleship” belly-flop with both audiences and critics. It’s a should-be-humbling experience that hopefully sends the right message to Hollywood producers and studios about quality filmmaking and storytelling.
On the other hand, when a smaller, more modest film project that ought to be good – nay, great – turns out to be rotten, it’s like a punch to the gut. When you get your breath back, you feel discouraged about taking chances with your viewing choices – at least if the movie is bad enough.
And that’s definitely the case with “The Counselor,” a new thriller that teams director Ridley Scott and screenwriter Cormac McCarthy, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author whose novels “No Country for Old Men” and “The Road” have both been turned into award-nominated cinematic features, in 2007 and 2009, respectively. (We’ll just try to forget about “All the Pretty Horses,” a sadly unmemorable 2000 Western that was allegedly based on another of McCarthy’s books.)
This particular film misfires on so many levels that it almost seems like an intentional act of sabotage on the part of the filmmakers and actors. Based on its concept, “The Counselor” should be a thrilling tale with a just a hint of snark. Except, when this material is acted and performed by this ensemble, it’s quickly turns overripe as bananas that were left to rot in a crate on a particularly hot and sunny dock.
Rising star Michael Fassbender (“Inglourious Basterds,” “X-Men: First Class”) plays the title character, a legal eagle succumbs to temptations. Perhaps it’s because he feels the need for wealth with which to shower his girlfriend, Laura (Penelope Cruz). Or perhaps it’s because he’s practically amoral. For whatever reason, he becomes entangled, businesswise with some bad, bad men.
Said bad men include the shady Reiner (Javier Bardem, from “Skyfall”), who involves the Counselor in both his new club as well as some big-time drug transactions. And then both our anti-hero and his lady love get involved, to a certain degree, with other things, including Reiner’s nearly predatory girlfriend, Malkina (Cameron Diaz).
But, as you’d expect, things go badly from there – so badly, that it appears neither the Counselor nor his lovely Laura will escape with their lives.
Scott and his talented screenwriter, credited with his first original screenplay, appear to be at odds on the tone for the film. While the script is filled with moments of absolutely grimness and darkness, like much of McCarthy’s work, Scott plays certain scenes for laughs, even when they shouldn’t be. It’s as if he thinks this is an Elmore Leonard work instead of a Cormac McCarthy one.
Truth be told, it’s no wonder that the normally charismatic Fassbender frowns his way through his first leading role. You can’t really blame him, though. His co-stars are no help, save for Cruz, who’s sweet and sexy as his sometimes reluctant partner.
As for her off-screen partner, Bardem, while he may have won a deserved Oscar for his chilling turn as the villain in “No Country,” here he almost appears to be on the verge of cracking up in nearly every scene in which he appears. At least he’s having more fun with this mess than Brad Pitt, who between the supporting role he plays here and his less-than-inspired performance in this summer’s vastly overrated “World War Z,” seems entirely uninterested in acting these days.
Still, the real show-stopper – in a bad way – here is Diaz, woefully miscast as a would-be femme fatale. Scott can’t rein her in, and doesn’t really try to. She’s badly out acted in one scene by a cheetah, which really tells you all you need to know about the movie.
Jerk-bot, aka Jeff Michael Vice, can also be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast, and can be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off.