The second episode of “American Horror Story: Coven” delivers more pseudo-shocks, powerhouse acting, and Stevie Nicks dresses than you can shake an inverted crucifix at. I always expect just a bit more from episdes written by Tim Minear, and he almost always delivers.
Our plot was thickened just a smidge, as Fiona traveled to District Nine for a weave and visit with the Voodoo Queen. Fiona wants the immortality juice that was used as the cherry on top of Madame LaLaurie’s severe yet just punishment; she was doomed to an eternity in the grave, and even though one of her last sights was the hanging corpses of her family she would never be able to join them in death. Marie has dosed herself as well, and we later learn that she’s kept her minotaur lover alive as well. The scenes between Lange and Bassett were the absolute highlight of the show. Both recognize the power of the other, but neither respects it enough to realize a possible defeat. And there will be a battle, of this I am sure. And it’s gonna be awesome. The performances of both of these women harken back to a recent complaint I made for another show – I don’t really like it when villains act evil, and both performances here are calm, cool, confident, and enviably wicked. It remained unclear to me whether or not Marie is aware of the specifics of Fiona’s bargaining tool – the excavated LaLaurie.
In order to make evensies with Zoe, Madison decides to take her to the morgue and resurrect the only good boy in the frat lot. And here is where I admit it: Yup, you got me, AHS. I have this bizarre knee-jerk reaction to horror and gore. I’ve only had to look away twice in my lifetime (“Ôdishon” and “A l’intérieur,” for the record), and sadly my standard appreciative reaction to good horror gore is cackling. I really can’t help it. I went to see the Evil Dead remake alone because I knew I would annoy the piss out of a companion. You didn’t make me look away, AHS (that is NOT a challenge) but boy did you get a hearty guffaw when Madison whipped open a body bag to reveal pieces of Kyle. Isn’t that a Styx album? Anyway. The girls sew up a Kyle and perform a spell that in the grand tradition of genre witchcraft takes a while to work. The spell scenes were bizarre and frenetic and somewhat lacking. Again, we travel to the AHS writers’ room… “OK, we have the girls scream, like, a lot, and flick the lights off and on really fast, only we make it look really expensive.” There was what appeared to be a really distracting smear of Vaseline on the lens, and the Frankenstein’s Monster parallels are just a little too easy and obvious. There were a couple of subtle details that were amazing, like the short burn on the pentagram, but I’m probably being a little too critical anyway. I don’t expect anything to ever compare to my favorite resurrection attempt (here there be Buffy spoilers). AHS is rarely subtle so when it happens it’s a standout.
Meanwhile Ms. Foxx (yes it’s really spelled that way, I checked) and hubby learn that science is failing them, so they do what any good liberal couple would do and turn to the Dark Arts. You all know this is going to result in a flipper baby, right? I mean, come on. Also I want to go on record with my disappointment that Cordelia’s husband’s name is not Derwood. That, friends and neighbors, is a missed opportunity.
I’m struggling to reconcile my feelings with Madame LaLaurie becoming the comedic foil. Part of me thinks it’s appropriately disrespectful, as this is indeed an historical figure that deserves no redemption, fictional or otherwise. Part of me thinks it might just be a diversion and that Delphine will retaliate with a fresh new horror later in the season. But most of me thinks that it’s just wasting Bates’s presence.
You guys, I wish I would have recorded my face when that damn riff started. You know exactly what I’m talking about. “OH COME ON, STEVIE NICKS?” I shouted to no one. Her well known Wiccan afilliation was mentioned later in the show, and I really hope there’s a purpose there. Actually, I really hope that Stevie herself shows up later in the season and does the absolute most debaucherous thing television will allow. But I’ll settle for plot purpose.
Next week, Patti Lupone comes to Dirty American Hogwarts, and the idea of Kathy Bates, Jessica Lange, Angela Bassett and Patti Lupone in the same show and maybe even the same scene makes me squeeze my fists and bounce around a little. It’s kind of a movie nerd’s version of getting a pony.